The Dirty Prophet

Vowels

2011-04-18T15:51:00.001-04:00

The day is too nice to sit inside and read about the sages of old. I venture out, past my wife and kids as they conduct a home school session on the sun-bleached deck. They are talking about vowels, those symbols explaining the hidden spaces in-between the consonants we know to be true. I think about this as I descend the deck steps. Warm blades of grass slip between my toes.

How do you explain space with sound, what isn’t there with what we see?

I put that thought on the shelf, because I came outside to not think, and walk around the house. There is a space at the end of the house that creates an “L” where no one can see me and I can barely hear them. A patch of scorched earth marks the spot where I set a fire just a few weeks before. Fresh grass pierces the black crust and reaches high.

“You cannot destroy life,” it says. Grass has a lot of pride for something so small.

I sit on the grass beside the scorched earth and look at nothing in particular, until a particular bumble bee catches my eye.

She’s still on the leaf at the moment until another bee—her sister—buzzes by.

“What are you doing?” asks the buzzing bee.

The leaf slips and the other bee is now hanging upside down. She tenderly cleans one of her front legs. “Chillin',” she says.

Her sister hovers for a moment, very disappointed, and buzzes off.

This is what I imagine them to say. These are the vowels in-between.

The bee looks back at me as it puts its leg down.

“Sup,” I say.

She climbs to the top of the leaf and flies away.

The bush is now still. I start to think again—not about vowels, because I just did that and the bee flew away—but about consciousness. I wonder why we wonder why. What is the purpose of awareness outside of our immediacy? What changed, what evolutionary purpose/need was served that helped Man cross that space between instinct and wonder? What exactly do we need to be aware of? My mind drifted. I was coming up with vowels to finish these words. I walked outside to venture away from the sages only to become like one.

An ant bit my ass. I dug into my pants and dug out the ant. Her mangled crimson carcass lay crushed on my fingertip.

“Forgive me, ant.” I know she meant well. She was probably a Buddhist monk in a past life. Instinct must have driven her to pull me out of daydreaming and remain in the moment. I lay her body in the grass, her spirit free to ascend and receive whatever merit her karma has earned her.

Thank you, for another vowel.

Leaves rustle in the bush. A lizard—a green anole—bobs his head and flares a red flag of skin along his throat.

“I mean you no harm, brother,” I say.

Another lizard is nearby and watching us. Was he warning me, or petitioning her? She notices me and dashes into the center of the bush. The male looks back at me. I understand and lower my head.

“Sorry my friend. I didn’t mean—”

He jumps into the tall grass. Poor fella, he won’t get laid today. I think about that. Was he really mad at me? Was he aware of anger, malice…will he remember me and create stories and traditions and rituals for his children to follow in order to commemorate--

“Daddy!”

I stop thinking. My thoughts, my deep ponderings throw on the brakes and my vowels crash into a million, indiscernible pieces. My kids are just around the corner and they’ve found something interesting. I better take a look, and according to the look in my wife’s eyes, maybe take out the trash as well. One can never be too sure.

“Confession”

2011-04-15T19:01:00.001-04:00

Their white knuckles, with fingers curled around stones, glared at her through the dusty air. The men cursed, "Adulteress!" while the women huddled and gossiped on the fringes of the crowd. Dirty children cackled as they orbited the mob.

She turned. The crowd ebbed and shuddered as one, waiting for someone to cast the first stone. She fell to her knees. Dust mixed with tears and turned to mud on her face.

"Please," she clasped her hands together. "Spare me, I beg you."

"The law says you must be stoned," a man with a long gray beard said from her left.

"You're pregnant and unmarried," a younger man on her right said as he lifted a stone-laden fist above his head. "You’ve humiliated your future husband! Who is the man you seduced into adultery?"

They pumped their fists at her, their blue and white robes flowing in the wind and yellow teeth gnashing through black and gray beards. Black hair tumbled out of her shawl as fear turned her stomach sour. She looked up through the amber cloud that surrounded them to the sky and whimpered, "Have mercy..."

A stone smashed against her cheek and crushed her jaw. She cried out and curled over with her face in her hands.

They continued, “Who is the father? Tell us, whore!”

She opened her eyes within the shade of her bosom. Dust clogged her mouth and lungs. She spat globs of bloody mucus and tooth chips to the ground. Poorly aimed stones thud around her. She trembled under the pressure to provide an answer, one that wouldn't cost her her life.

But they promised each other she wouldn’t tell.

Another stone crushed a rib. She screamed so hard her voice cracked and shattered among the dozens around her. She looked up, curled on the ground, and searched the mob for her angel’s face. Nowhere. A stone splashed against the ground and kicked dirt into her eyes. She dug the debris from her eyes and stood with her knees set to buckle.

"Tell us the father's name," an anonymous voice demanded, "or we finish you here."

The men cocked their arms back.

“Why do you ignore me,” she whispered as tears soaked into the mashed flesh of her cheek and burned. She took a deep, bloody breath, tilted her face skyward and screamed, "Adonai!"

God’s name echoed along the street of mud brick adobe houses. Silence smothered the mob. A raven cawed from the crest of the rabbi's roof. She lowered her eyes and met the crowd's gaze. She discerned one word amidst their mumblings: "Messiah."

Breaths slipped as if greased out of her chest. She glanced down at the bulb on her belly. She looked back up at them with "Wait, that’s not—" on her tongue, but stopped.

The hunched rabbi approached. His lips unzipped a four-toothed smile as he touched her belly. He looked up at her. "Is this true?"

The crowd stared at her under a bright, patient sun. Sweat and blood dripped off her chin. This answer will save me when he wouldn’t, she thought. She imagined her son leading a triumphant revolt against the Romans and re-building Solomon’s temple. The very people set to grind her into the earth would exalt her as the mother of their deliverer. She would live.

“Mary,” the rabbi repeated.

She blinked out of her daydream and looked around. The cloud of dust and anger settled. Every eye glistened around her, like a galaxy of stars churning around their center.

Blood seeped into the corner of her lips as a smile grew. She swallowed the sour taste of blood and death, looked down at the rabbi and nodded. "Yes."

Short Fiction: “The Siege”

2011-04-05T18:56:00.001-04:00

His mother, with her hands like spades, tucked him in on the sofa with the green and blue quilt his grandmother had sewn for him. She was there too, on her crackling, arthritic knees, praying at his side.

“Lord, we know that through you all things are possible.” She tilted her age-creased face back and lifted her hands above her head. “Cleanse my grandson of this unclean spirit.”

His father, with a 12 gauge over his left shoulder, looked back at his family from the side of the dark bay window. The days-old stench of sweat and diarrhea soaked the air and curdled in his stomach as the illness siphoned life and fluid from his son. He coughed with his hand over his mouth and nose and said, “How’s the fever, Grace?”

His mother took the thermometer from the boy’s mouth and shook the mercury. She squinted at the reading in a living room starved of light. A smile unzipped across her face as her son groaned below her. “Down to 102!”

“Praise Jesus,” he said with a nod and turned away. He stuck his index finger into the scales of closed mini-blinds and scanned for more FBI agents.

A blade of sunlight cut through the darkness and painted a dusty yellow ribbon on the carpet just below the boy. The mother and grandmother clapped and danced around him, singing hymns to a god they believed didn’t want the help of doctors. Dry sweat and mucus crusted on the boy’s face. His voice trembled and cracked beneath the thunder of song and praise as a request for water withered upon his last breath.

Triune Reviewed!

2011-04-04T17:02:00.000-04:00

Good friend and fellow author, J. Lea. Lopez was kind enough to offer this review of my novella, Triune!

I owe you one Lopez. Thanks.

Triune: Print Version

2011-03-22T15:34:00.001-04:00

Don’t tell Project Conversion, but I’m stealing a few moments from my year-long spiritual schizophrenia to announce that the print version of my new novella, Triune, is now available at Amazon.

The print version is only $9.99 at Amazon, but if you’re pinching pennies like many of us, there’s also the Kindle version for less than a buck at $.99. If you enjoy the novella (and I’m sure you will) be sure to tell your friends and leave a comment or two. Tags at the bottom of the Amazon page are also great. If you have a website or blog and are interested in reviewing Triune, drop me a line at andrew_s_bowen@yahoo.com for review copy details.

As for the future, I have another novel I’d like to format for Kindle as well as print. This novel is the first in a series so I want to make sure that I have the time to follow up once I pull the trigger on that bad boy. Also thinking about putting together a short story collection on the cheap for you kind folks to tide you over in between Triune and the new novel series. How would you like that? Throw in some contests too? Yeah, you like the contests.

Happy reading and thanks for stopping by!

Next Move

2011-02-23T06:47:00.001-05:00

Well, it looks like the cat is out of the bag. Bud Polk, a good friend and writer, just interviewed me for The Huffington Post regarding my efforts with Project Conversion. In the article he mentions a novel I wrote about a young man who seeks out mentors from many faiths in order to bring what he’s learned home in order to unite the faiths. Funny thing is, the link he supplied to this novel is actually to my novella, Triune.

That’s cool, of course. Triune is also a story about attempts at interfaith peace. However it isn’t the novel. I was planning to hold off on that bad boy until I saw how Triune performed, but now it looks like I’ll need to crack The Legend of Tom open and give it to the people.

Life has a funny way of pushing buttons and setting snowballs down the ‘ol proverbial hill, doesn’t it? So now it’s off to formatting that novel for release in print and ebook settings. Awesome. I was looking for something constructive to do. See you folks on the other side.

The Plunge

2011-02-20T16:19:00.003-05:00

Due to recent technology such as e-readers and POD publishing, savvy writers are taking their work directly to the consumer. A writer can still hire a good editor, design good cover art (or hire freelance), learn how to format their work for e-readers like Kindle or POD’s like CreateSpace or Lulu, and STILL make a living. This is because writers don’t have the overhead and they make their money on volume. We lower the price of an ebook or print edition to compete with the traditional houses and therefore pass the savings on to the reader. To kick off my experiment with e-publishing, I’ve formatted my most recent novella, Triune, for the Kindle e-reader. A print version is forthcoming.

This ebook is priced at $0.99. Why? Because I believe that 99 cents is worth taking a risk on. I also know that if you enjoy the book, you’ll pass along the news and while a buck doesn’t sound like much, a snowball is nothing more that a lot of snowflakes. Word-of mouth is like a blizzard of many snowflakes. Reader and writer win here folks. You get to try out a new author for little risk and I get the opportunity to entertain and hopefully establish writer/reader relationship with you. It’s time for writers to connect with their readers again. Directly. This is my commitment to you. Because I don’t think you should have to empty your pockets to enjoy a good story. There’s plenty more to come, so keep your eyes peeled, tell a friend, and happy reading.

Guest Blog: Sheldon Lee Compton

2011-01-13T07:23:00.001-05:00

Today’s post at The Dirty Prophet comes from Sheldon Lee Compton. He’s a wordsmith whose craft speaks for itself as he’s appeared just about everywhere on the interwebs and has wooed many with his smooth prose which captures the awe in the simplicity of life. A staunch promoter of fellow writers and a good friend, Sheldon’s own home at Bent Country as well A-Minor and Wrong Tree Review are beckons of that raw, unadulterated talent he himself so finely exhibits. Without further adieu, sit back and enjoy a piece of fiction he was kind enough to share with us today.

A Song with Four Chords

It is a simple arrangement. There are a hundred songs made the exact same way, but it is beautiful in its melody and balance. G, E-minor, C, D, repeat. I rake the pick down the strings and G-chord punches through the church. The band follows. Bridge’s vocals are at first off-pitch and then smooth out. And so the song goes.

G-chord – and Sam now standing at the back of the church, the outline of a pack of cigarettes in his front shirt pocket. I push the bones of my hand into the neck of the guitar, squeeze it and feel old flakes of varnish chip away. Sam not even sitting down. Sam waiting at the back door by the sinner’s foyer where phone numbers of lost and moved-away church members are posted on the community board, ghosts. Sam dancing with the ghosts in the back with his cigarettes and his sorry face and his hands long and slender and eager. Sam dancing all through G-chord.

And then E-minor – a shift, a change in atmosphere and purpose. I can almost remember the scent of my grandmother. A lotion she wore to bed each night and the way the first knuckles of her fingers always bent and broke, buckled to get the chords just right without muffling the other strings. It is enough to stop Sam from dancing, thinking of her, and the song moves to a different place, away from Sam and away from Karen. But the minor-major rise is coming. My fingers buckle inward, ready for the change.

C-chord – and veins climb across Bridge’s neck in conviction and beauty. Sam singing along in the back, lips wet and baritone with song, lips that had touched Karen again and again while snowflakes dropped around their fisted hands. Lips that said I love you while kissing my wife. The church, with Sam moving again in the back, anxious, eager, and Karen mute in the front, bored, over her shoulder.

And D-chord – bending down to bury me, close me up. Abrupt and fast, trying to bring back the dead and stir to life the living, then the Gibson slips from my thigh, drops off my knee in a rattle of sound. The last chord breaks away and drifts into nothing. All eyes to me and my scalded red hands folded in my lap, as if in prayer or defeat.

A Few Announcements

2011-01-07T17:50:00.001-05:00

You folks didn’t think that just because Project Conversion takes up 99% of my time that I’d leave The Dirty Prophet to gather dust, did you? Good. So here goes.

But while we’re on the subject, I made this new and improved trailer for the site:

In other news, the latest issue of Wrong Tree Review just went live, courtesy of the super talented Sheldon Lee Compton and I happen to have a little bit of short fiction between the pages. The thing is loaded with talent. Enjoy.

Be sure to also catch tomorrow’s (that’s January 8th) posting over at Project Conversion. I interviewed singer/songwriter Meeta Gajjar Parker about her career as a yoga instructor, Mantra master, and singer for the band, Exotica.

That’s it for now. Other than this gem. According to the story, various species of wildlife are buying the farm all around the world. Sounds a little end times-ish. Or the environment sucks. Either way, it’s enough to scare my sister into thinking Jesus’ return is imminent and to change from her sinful ways. I’m not kidding. She converted yesterday.

Now that’s some extreme Project Conversion.

Updates and Spotlights

2011-01-02T12:44:00.002-05:00

Hey peoples! I thought I’d divert your attention for a few moments to some updates and random goodness I’ve come across recently:
1) Project Conversion is now in its second day. It’s a tough ride, but I’m having a blast. See the Project Conversion site and be sure to bookmark that bad boy to keep up as I will blog the a few times a week.
2) Speaking of keeping up, Susan Gibb has begun a flash fiction project called “365 Days. 365 Stories”. Yep, that’s one piece of flash everyday for the whole year. Sound impossible? She’s a writing beast, with a 302 Cleveland engine of literary awesome. Try and keep up here.
3) Good friend, Yvette Managan, sent this recipe for a Spinach Quiche, in light of my Vegetarian diet for the month of January:

store-bought crust
any kind of vegetable, chopped up fine
swiss or gruyere cheese (or any kind of cheese you like. I usually use extra sharp white cheddar. And the poundage isn't as important as one thinks. I usually use about a cup of grated cheese. The stronger flavored the cheese, the less you need.)
one can spinach, or or 1 package frozen chopped spinach or 1/2 to 3/4 pound well-chopped fresh spinach, washed well and steamed until cooked. You can toss in some grated carrots too, for added color
4 or 5 eggs, beaten
1/2 t salt, 1/2 t white or black pepper, 1/2 t garlic powder or 1 clove chopped well, 1/2 onion, chopped fine
2 pinches cayenne pepper or a few shakes of hot sauce. It won't make it hot, but will brighten the flavor
3/4 cup milk, 2 percent to half and half - whichever you prefer
Bake pie shell for 5 to 7 minutes at 425F before adding filling
Mix all ingredients together well and pour into pie shell. Bake 15 minutes at 425, then reduce temp to 350F until fork or knife inserted ~1 1/2 inches from center comes out clean. Allow to cool and set for about ten minutes before serving.

Good friend Yvette Managan sent over the following recipe to help ease my suffering as I practice a vegetarian dietary code for Hinduism this month. Enjoy.

The Eve of Conversion

2010-12-30T11:41:00.001-05:00

Here we are. After over three months of planning, arranging, pleading, hoping, doubting, and believing…we are on the eve of Project Conversion. The road to get here has been long, and there were times when I thought I wouldn’t make it this far, but after three months I’ve only reached the doorway leading to a strange new world. Now it’s time to kiss my old lifestyle goodbye and put on my good hiking shoes. For a year everything changes…I change.

For dinner tomorrow my wife is cooking roasted chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, stuffing, green beans, and biscuits. My favorite meal. Because Project Conversion kicks off with Hinduism, and I’ve elected—like many Hindus have—to live as a vegetarian. It’s the first time I’ve lived like this, but as Project Conversion carries on, it certainly won’t be the last.

This will be my last post about Project Conversion on The Dirty Prophet. All updates dealing with this initiative will be made on the Project Conversion website on a weekly basis. There, I will chronicle the struggles and experiences associated with this radical, year-long metamorphosis. Video, photos, blog entry, website chat feature, even a live broadcast to field your questions and comments in real time…this is my service to you. Be sure to link up to the Facebook and Twitter pages for updates.

Humanity will never live in peace until we learn to live a day in the shoes of another. Sectarian violence can end. Science and Religion, the warring brothers of our society, can be reconciled. I know it’s hard. We have families, careers, vacations, and health issues that take time and energy from such a Quixotic notion as peace and harmony. So I’ll do it for you. Project Conversion will be a reality show of what could be. Who knows, once you see it action you might just be tempted to see the Divine and Humanity in everything/everyone…and live and love like our lives depended on it.

Join me. The water’s fine.

Namaste.

Guest Blogger: Yeshua of Nazareth

2010-12-24T11:15:00.001-05:00

Christmas hasn’t always been, well, Christmas. The holiday season we enjoy and bemoan today is actually a vast amalgamation of pagan and Christian symbolism and ideals all mashed together like a fruitcake to celebrate the birth of a guy named Jesus (or more accurately, Yeshua Ben Yosef). In this way, the modern, religious version of Christmas is a dovetail of three components: Roman worship of Sol Invictus (the unconquered sun), Mithras (a Near-Eastern god who later became a cult figure for the Roman elite), and Yeshua (the planet’s most popular Jew). December 25th was actually the birthday of Mithras and is also associated with a festival for Sol Invictus. These components were more than likely blended by Romans (particularly Emperor Constantine) after the trippy cult called Christianity went legal in 313 with the Edict of Milan. As for the secular side of Christmas, we have the pagan Germanic tribes (Yuletide) with a sprinkling of Norse mythology (Odin and his eight-legged horse) to thank.

So, with that little bit of History out of the way, I’d like to introduce our guest blogger for today.

Andrew: Sup, Yeshua.

Yeshua: Sup.

Andrew: I have to admit, this is a little weird.

Yeshua: I get that a lot. Remember Thomas?

Andrew: Right. So, what will you blog about today?

Yeshua: Actually, I thought I’d go with a golden oldie of mine. The Sermon on the Mount from the gospel of Matthew.

Andrew: Sweet.

Yeshua: I think it wraps up my philosophy pretty nicely.

Andrew: The floor is yours, pal.

-----------------

Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 5:4 Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. 5:5 Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. 5:6 Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. 5:7 Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. 5:8 Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God. 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 5:11 Blessed are you, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. 5:12 Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. 5:13 You are the salt of the earth: but if the salt has lost its savour, with what shall it be salted? it is thereafter good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. 5:14 You are the light of the world. A city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. 5:15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it gives light unto all that are in the house. 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. 5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill. 5:18 For truthfully I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one small mark shall in no way pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. 5:19 Whosoever therefore shall break one of these least commandments, and shall teach men so, he shall be called the least in the kingdom of heaven: but whosoever shall do and teach them, the same shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 5:20 For I say unto you, That unless your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of the scribes and Pharisees, you shall in no case enter into the kingdom of heaven. 5:21 You have heard that it was said of them of old time, You shall not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: 5:22 But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, You fool, shall be in danger of hell fire. 5:23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you; 5:24 Leave there your gift before the altar, and go your way; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 5:25 Agree with your adversary quickly, while you are in the way with him; lest at any time the adversary deliver you to the judge, and the judge deliver you to the officer, and you be cast into prison. 5:26 Truthfully I say unto you, You shall by no means come out from there, till you have paid the last copper coin. 5:27 You have heard that it was said by them of old time, You shall not commit adultery: 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart. 5:29 And if your right eye offend you, pluck it out, and cast it from you: for it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish, and not that your whole body should be cast into hell. 5:30 And if your right hand offend you, cut it off, and cast it from you: for it is profitable for you that one of your members should perish, and not that your whole body should be cast into hell. 5:31 It has been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: 5:32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, except for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced commits adultery. 5:33 Again, you have heard that it has been said by them of old time, You shall not swear falsely, but shall perform unto the Lord your oaths: 5:34 But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God's throne: 5:35 Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. 5:36 Neither shall you swear by your head, because you cannot make one hair white or black. 5:37 But let your communication be, Yes, yes; No, no: for whatsoever is more than these comes of evil. 5:38 You have heard that it has been said, An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth: 5:39 But I say unto you, That you resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite you on your right cheek, turn to him the other also. 5:40 And if any man will sue you at the law, and take away your coat, let him have your cloak also. 5:41 And whosoever shall compel you to go a mile, go with him two. 5:42 Give to him that asks you, and from him that would borrow of you turn you not away. 5:43 You have heard that it has been said, You shall love your neighbor, and hate your enemy. 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for those who despitefully use you, and persecute you; 5:45 That you may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust. 5:46 For if you love those who love you, what reward have you? do not even the publicans the same? 5:47 And if you salute your brothers only, what do you more than others? do not even the publicans so? 5:48 Be you therefore perfect, just as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. 6:1 Take heed that you do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise you have no reward of your Father which is in heaven. 6:2 Therefore when you are doing your alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Truthfully I say unto you, They have their reward. 6:3 But when you are doing alms, let not your left hand know what your right hand does: 6:4 That your alms may be in secret: and your Father which sees in secret himself shall reward you openly. 6:5 And when you pray, you shall not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Truthfully I say unto you, They have their reward. 6:6 But you, when you pray, enter into your closet, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father which is in secret; and your Father which sees in secret shall reward you openly. 6:7 But when you pray, use not vain repetitions, as the heathen do: for they think that they shall be heard for their much speaking. 6:8 Be not you therefore like unto them: for your Father knows what things you have need of, before you ask him. 6:9 After this manner therefore pray you: Our Father which are in heaven, Hallowed be your name. 6:10 Your kingdom come, Your will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. 6:11 Give us this day our daily bread. 6:12 And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. 6:13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For yours is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen. 6:14 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 6:15 But if you forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. 6:16 Moreover when you fast, be not, as the hypocrites, of a sad countenance: for they disfigure their faces, that they may appear unto men to fast. Truthfully I say unto you, They have their reward. 6:17 But you, when you fast, anoint your head, and wash your face; 6:18 That you appear not unto men to fast, but unto your Father which is in secret: and your Father, which sees in secret, shall reward you openly. 6:19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: 6:20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust corrupts, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: 6:21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. 6:22 The light of the body is the eye: if therefore your eye be sound, your whole body shall be full of light. 6:23 But if your eye be evil, your whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you be darkness, how great is that darkness! 6:24 No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon. 6:25 Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor yet for your body, what you shall put on. Is not the life more than food, and the body than clothing? 6:26 Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much better than they? 6:27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? 6:28 And why take you thought for clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: 6:29 And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. 6:30 Therefore, if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today exists, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 6:31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, How shall we be clothed? 6:32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knows that you have need of all these things. 6:33 But seek you first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. 6:34 Take therefore no thought for the next day: for the next day shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof. 7:1 Judge not, that you be not judged. 7:2 For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you mete out, it shall be measured back to you again. 7:3 And why do you behold the speck that is in your brother's eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye? 7:4 Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull out the speck out of your eye; and, behold, a beam is in your own eye? 7:5 You hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of your own eye; and then shall you see clearly to cast out the speck out of your brother's eye. 7:6 Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and tear you. 7:7 Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 7:8 For every one that asks receives; and he that seeks finds; and to him that knocks it shall be opened. 7:9 Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? 7:10 Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent? 7:11 If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? 7:12 Therefore all things whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. 7:13 Enter you in at the narrow gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leads to destruction, and many there be which go in there: 7:14 Because narrow is the gate, and constricted is the way, which leads unto life, and few there be that find it. 7:15 Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. 7:16 You shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? 7:17 Even so every good tree brings forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree brings forth evil fruit. 7:18 A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. 7:19 Every tree that does not bring forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. 7:20 Therefore by their fruits you shall know them. 7:21 Not every one that says unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that does the will of my Father which is in heaven. 7:22 Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in your name? and in your name have cast out devils? and in your name done many wonderful works? 7:23 And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, you that work iniquity. 7:24 Therefore whosoever hears these sayings of mine, and does them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock: 7:25 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock. 7:26 And every one that hears these sayings of mine, and does them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand: 7:27 And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall thereof.

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Andrew: Thanks for dropping by Yeshua. No trying to walk on water while drinking during your birthday party. Remember what happened last year…

Yeshua: *Laughs* Whatever you say pal. Thanks for having me.

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It doesn’t matter where Christmas came from. That’s conjecture to keep academics employed. No matter what your opinion is regarding the status of Yeshua (divine, teacher, ancient pot-smoking proto-socialist), it’s hard to deny the wisdom and sincerity of his words. At the very least, he was one hell of a guy who taught that selfless love and charity are paramount. At the most, well, that’s up to you. So this holiday season, let’s try and focus on the words of the man instead of the words of others about him.

Peace and happy holidays.

Andrew

Project Conversion: 11th Hour

2010-12-12T15:33:00.004-05:00

The past week has been insane for Project Conversion with some excellent news and updates.
From the beginning, Project Conversion was about providing the most authentic experience possible to the audience. One critical tool for this success is the use of Mentors—adherents of each faith to teach me about day-to-day living within these traditions. I believe this component of Project Conversion is critical and therefore if I cannot find a Mentor for any given faith, I don’t think it would be prudent to keep that faith on the schedule.

In light of this, Taoism has dropped from the roster.

Ideally, all of my Mentors would be local, however this just isn’t possible with all of the faiths. So far, about half of the Mentors live out of state and the others are within reasonable driving distance. I’ll be dramatically altering my lifestyle for an entire year, so “flexible” is just the way I roll.

So, I’ve decided to replace Taoism with the Baha’i faith. There is a local adherent here who I’ve contacted and waiting to hear back from. All signs indicate that she’d be cool with Project Conversion so I just need the confirmation and then everything is sunshine and bunny rabbits.

There’s also an interesting twist to the lineup for the year as follows:

January: Hinduism

February: Baha’i

March: Zoroastrianism

April: Judaism

May: Buddhism

June: * The Fringe *

July: Mormonism

August: Islam

September: Sihkism

October: Wicca

November: Jainism

December: Catholicism

Notice the difference? That’s right, the Baha’i faith has replaced Pastafarianism and June is now The Fringe. What is The Fringe? Well, it’s the brain child of good pal Aaron Saufley. While Pastafarianism is a great example of the modern development of philosophical movements, it is in fact a satirical response to religion itself and therefore has the potential to offend folks. I’m not out to offend anyone. This is about learning how our spiritual neighbors live. So June will represent a Sabbatical of sorts—a half-way point or intermission—where I will take time away from the more traditional faiths and spend a month exploring the fringe elements of religion. Pastafarianism, along with many others, definitely fits within this category and therefore becomes fair game for digging into.

Now that we have that cleared up, some more good news!

Within the past week, I have lined up Mentors for the Hindu and Zoroastrian faiths. I visited a local Hindu temple today in fact and was allowed to sit in on a Sunday school class of teens as well as a session of communal prayer. Everything was gorgeous and the people very welcoming and helpful. As for my Zoroastrian Mentor, she lives in Chicago and will guide me via email and phone. She is the former editor of FEZANA, the North American Zoroastrian Association publication and is sending me a bunch of literature goodies in the mail. Sweet!

Also, the website now has a “donate” button on the sidebar. I’ve mentioned this before but Project Conversion will be expensive and time consuming. I’m not only putting myself through this for my own enlightenment and learning, but for you. Gandhi said that we must be the change we want to see in the world. I want to understand the points of view of other people and cultures, so what better way to do that than to “become” them? Please consider donating—any amount is a blessing—to Project Conversion. Your help will make a world of difference.

Peace.

The Rain and the Storm

2010-12-06T13:12:00.001-05:00

I got an acceptance two weeks ago for a short story I wrote and, apart from the stresses of school, my luck was starting to rebound. Since I’ve started planning for Project Conversion, I haven’t had much time for my first love: writing. Then this weekend I found out that two other stories of mine had a chance at acceptance. My heart glowed.

One of those stories was a piece that, when I wrote it I knew it would be controversial. I knew it would push buttons and force people to think about issues of faith and tensions/violence associated with religion in general. The story has received a few rejections, all of which I’m sure are due to the hot button issue of our times that is Islam. So when a certain editor asked me for a minor revision (mostly line edits) of the story for likely publication, I was floored. This is easily one of my favorite stories and one which I know will get people talking about and confronting religious sectarian fighting head-on.

That’s when the clouds broke and rained on my parade.

This editor is a dear friend and the first contact I made in the literary world years ago. She is incredibly talented and her publication well-respected. But now she’s changed her mind; she cannot publish my story. That’s right. She cannot. My good friend is concerned that if published and read by the wrong people, this story could lead to the compromise of my safety. We spoke on the phone about it. She had struggled with the issue for much of the evening before talking with me. I could feel the tension in her voice. We both knew what was happening: by not publishing this story, we were censoring ourselves out of fear of repercussions. I couldn’t believe what was happening. My heart crumbled to pieces and I know hers sustained injury as well.

So here I am. I am at a fork in the road. My friend repeatedly asked me not to seek publication for this story out of fear for my safety. Journalist and artist have been heavily targeted by extremists in recent history—even here in the U.S. Do I go on? Do I walk into the storm? No, the story doesn’t insult any one or group, but it does force us to rethink our religions and politics. People are slaughtering one another because we fail to speak openly and respectfully about sensitive issues, especially religion. My goal isn’t to bring change to faith. I don’t have new ideas or theologies to spread in the streets. My mission in life—through my art, is to get people talking again. It’s time to tear down the walls. I indeed have a dream that people of differing spiritual backgrounds can speak to one another about their faith as casually as if it were two guys in a bar chatting about their favorite baseball teams.

It’s a long shot, and I am only one man. But does that mean I stop trying? Do I yield to fear? I have a family, what about them? Is it foolish and dangerous to take such risks?

I have to. I am compelled to, because I cannot with good conscious face my kids and say that I lived in a world full of animosity and ignorance, had the capacity to stand up and make a difference, and then surrendered in the face of fear. So I’ll keep going. I’ll keep writing my stories. I will continue Divine Dirt Quarterly so that others like myself will have a place to share their art. Project Conversion, despite the fact that I didn’t meet funding goals (thank you so much for those who did donate!), will go on. I didn’t sign up for this life and I sure as hell didn’t ask for the love of theology and humanity that I bear like a smoldering brand on my heart, but I refuse to sit this out. I don’t care if I spend a lifetime fighting and collapse in my grave broken and spent, if one person is blessed by my efforts then I have triumphed in this life.

I’m inviting you to join me. Every voice, every word, every musical note, every gesture counts. If you want to see a difference then you have to get up and make it happen. So I say let it rain, let it thunder. Every storm ends. What matters is if you had the courage to walk through it.

I’ll see you on the front line.

Project Conversion: The Countdown

2010-12-01T11:23:00.001-05:00

Today is December 1st, 2010, and that means I have exactly one month until Project Conversion officially begins. That sounds like a pretty comfortable time cushion, but considering the work that has been done and what is still ahead, well here’s a breakdown:

Accomplishments:

1) I have a Mentor (or at least someone within that faith actively locating one within their community) for all but four faiths.

2) Half-way into building my religious text library (many faiths, like Hinduism have several texts).

3) Website (www.projectconversion.com) is locked, cocked, and ready to roll for showing blog entries, photo, and video footage of the whole experience.

4) Hooking up with interfaith sites like BeliefNet and PeaceNext to spread the word and get folks involved.

5) Convinced my wife to sign a contract forbidding her from divorcing me due to any embarrassment I might cause her, myself, or my family during 2011.

What’s left?

1) I still need a Mentor for Hinduism, Pastafarianism, Taoism, and Zoroastrianism. The good news is that I have some good leads on three of those. The bad news is that a) they may be too remote to make for a viable Mentor and b) if I cannot locate a Mentor, I might have to switch faiths.

2) Need to complete my religious text library.

3) Looking into vegetarian recipes, as I will be spending at least half of 2011 as a vegetarian due to the various religious practices.

4) Need film/camera equipment. I have a small digital camera and recorder, however the quality is not conducive to this sort of undertaking.

5) Spread…the…word…MORE!

6) Cup check, because yeah, this is actually happening in exactly one month and there is no turning back.

The two most difficult aspects of Project Conversion are cash, and overcoming fear/reservations. For the most part, folks have been receptive to the idea. I honestly didn’t expect anyone to volunteer to become Mentors, but I was proven wrong. The enthusiasm thus far from the existing Mentors continues to inspire me. What some may not fully understand however, is how expensive this undertaking will be. Because I live in a rural area where few faiths are represented, I’ll have to drive (average of around 2-3 hours) just to meet my Mentors. That’s a lot of gas money. I also need to purchase religious articles to help me practice each faith to the fullest of my ability. I also need decent film equipment, so I can bring all the goodness to you in stark clarity.

That’s why I set up a place at Kickstarter, to help fund Project Conversion through the contributions of kind folks like you. There is a time limit though. In a few days the Kickstarter campaign will be over (due to their guidelines). I have a $3,000 budget to make Project Conversion a worthy initiative and a little under a week to finish raising the funds.

I believe in this, otherwise I wouldn’t put myself through a year of such radical change…all because I believe experience is our best teacher. Because placing ourselves in the shoes of our neighbor is the surest way to stop the fighting and begin healing. We can co-exist. We can live in a pluralistic world where diversity of belief is a crown of many jewels instead of a shackle. Make Project Conversion your Project Conversion. Together, let’s show the world how to live everyday conscious of the perspective of an other…even our perceived enemies. Because once we do this, humanity will no longer have a need for enemies.

Peace.

Thanksgiving: The Echo of History

2010-11-24T10:15:00.002-05:00

We’ve all grown up with the story. In 1621, roughly a year after the Puritans landed in Plymouth and barely survived in this “new world”, a feast was held to celebrate the bounty of their efforts and to honor Squanto and his tribe, the Wampanoag, for teaching them how to farm, fish, hunt, and live off the land. A turkey served as the centerpiece of this feast mainly due to its station as the “earth eagle”, a creature the Native Americans believed was a symbol of willful sacrifice and holy sustenance.

Good times were had by all. Except no football.

This wasn’t the first time that natives and Europeans had met along the East Coast. The English had made several attempts to settle before, most notably on Roanoke Island in what is now North Carolina, and relations with the local natives were tenuous at best. In one incident, and entire village was burned and its chief burned at the stake over an accusation of theft (a silver cup). Conflict would continue to plague each visit the English made to the New World, visits that Squanto and the Wampanoag no doubt had caught wind of.

So the question that begs to be asked is, why did Squanto and his tribe offer an open hand to a potential enemy?
No one can say with any certainty, however there must have been an overriding sense of compassion and empathy toward the struggling colonists who otherwise would have starved to death.

Unfortunately, other “thanksgiving” holidays would come to mark not a cooperation with the natives, but a triumph over them. In 1641, a successful raid by colonists of the Pequot tribe was celebrated by colonial children kicking the decapitated heads of vanquished Pequot down the streets. The local church sanctioned the victory as a day of thanksgiving.

Squanto’s altruistic outreach to the colonists was not paying dividends, and the conflict between colonist (and later, settlers into the West) and Native Americans was set.

This outstretched hand toward enemies in the hopes of a rebirth of goodwill reminds me a recent and similar action by our current president during his inauguration speech. In it, President Obama made this statement to our perceived enemies: “…but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.” Critics of Obama were quick to poke fun at the newly minted president’s gesture of humanity, equating such good will to a known enemy to placating a hungry beast hell-bent on our destruction. Perhaps these critics had read their History and paid attention in class. Perhaps they knew better, that an outstretched hand will usually get bitten regardless of the intentions, because they are the ethical descendents of those who bit the hand of Native Americans who kept the colonists alive.

Didn’t intend to depress you. If so, grab a beer and loosen up. This Thanksgiving holiday, I challenge you not only to remember History, but refuse to repeat that which taints its magnanimous intention: goodwill toward men—regardless of their background, and the celebration of continuity of life made possible by brotherhood and cooperation.

Now unclench that drumstick!

Exodus of the American Temples

2010-11-20T13:53:00.001-05:00

*a little something I wrote a while back about the whole mosque at ground zero thing. enjoy*

There’s a lot going on in the world of American spiritual identity. One of the more popular stories of late is the forthcoming mosque and Islamic cultural center being built two blocks away from “Ground Zero” in Manhattan. As with most American social issues, the arguments for and against this Islamic cultural center has become yet another blow to the wedge that divides the nation.

Indeed, every generation has its social challenges, but few have witnessed an America poised at the edge of a national Krakatau as we experience today. Are we on course for the mother of all culture wars with religion as the flash point? Is this the Armageddon of Christian bumper stickers? Religious and political leaders have drawn the proverbial line in the sand. It’s only a matter of time before this powder keg blows.

But don’t despair. There may be hope after all.

The legendary King Solomon faced a similar problem in his court between two women arguing over a child. Both claimed ownership, however there was no way to prove maternity, so Solomon proposed the child be split down the middle for the women to share. The true mother was revealed when one of the women expressed apathy toward the demise of said child. Kudos to King Solomon for calling the bluff.

Why not apply the same wisdom to America’s fight over the presence of religion in politics?

In light of our constitution’s venerable separation clause between church and state, and our society’s inability to maturely reconcile the right of the individual to express their freedom of/from religion, I propose we introduce an oldie but goldie piece of good ‘ol Southern legislation: Separate but Equal.

Conservatives in general want a society where there is little difference between rule of law and Christian doctrine. Ironically, they abhor a similar position held by some of their Muslim counterparts regarding Shari‘a law. But I digress. On the other hand, many liberals desire a society based on a literal reading of the separation clause where government (and politics) remains secular and religious affairs private. Because many in politics hold a religious disposition which governs their moral compass, it’s unfair to expect them to overlook this aspect in order to represent or govern to their best ability.

So why not take separation a step further?

According to a CNN/Opinion Research poll, 70 percent of Americas oppose the construction of the Cordoba House in its current location. That’s a pretty loud voice, and it sounds like this:

“To the supporters of this new Islamic cultural center, I must ask: Build your ideological monument somewhere else…” –Neda Bolourchi, daughter of a September 11^th victim.

Fair enough. If we can’t play nice together and share, then we need to send the kids to their rooms.

I propose we set aside territories for recognized religions. Virtually sovereign, these self-governing entities would be free of the in-fighting that currently disables modern politics and religions alike. Each reservation would govern according to the standards of that religion’s theological juris prudence, and be responsible for upholding said laws. All visitors to these separate but equal lands would be subject to the laws within the borders of each reservation. Only religions that represent at least .0025 percent of the population would qualify for this opportunity.

Conversely, society outside of these territories would be entirely secular and free of any vestige of religious influence. In exchange for the reserved land, all citizens surrender their right to assemble for the purpose of religious dealings. Citizens who wish to observe religious practices or participate in theological discourse are required by law to visit the territory that represents their faith.

In similar fashion to the Indian Appropriations Act, where reservations were administered by a Christian representative of the government to “prepare” Native Americans for assimilation into American society, all religious territories will be administered by an atheist representative of the secular United States for the same end. All territories will be created according to religious demographics by state and region.

Remember, this is only a draft of the important legislation we so desperately need to take hold of in our country. Revolution and real change occurs at ground level, with people committed to make a difference and save America from a culture war holding a knife to the throat of our very survival. Won’t you join me in this quest to achieve balance and peace, to manifest our destiny to co-exist—even if we must be separate and equal?

Conflicts with Native Americans during the first half of the 19^th century served as a constant reminder to good American citizens of the savagery of war—particularly with vile, disgruntled natives. Of course not all Native Americans were warmongers fighting for land lawfully taken from them by conquest. Many saw the error in their ways and assimilated beautifully into American society. As a member of the Lumbee Tribe of North Carolina, an amalgam of tribes brought together by war and displacement, I understand the benefits of taking up a new way of life instead of fighting for the old. The scars however, were too deep, and reservations were set up where they learned about Christianity and agriculture.

Ever since Congress passed the Indian Removal Act of 1830 and the Indian Appropriations Act of 1851, Native American’s have enjoyed stuff like otherwise illegal drugs and casinos on their government-created lands. Of course, this new legislation will sting at first, but just as it eventually benefited the Native Americans, so will it be with the faithful. And like the Native Americans, all the religious have to do is concede that their culture is valuable and equal to the mainstream, but just has to exist…”somewhere else.”

Is God Pro-Choice?

2010-11-17T11:29:00.001-05:00

According to a Gallup poll taken in May of 2009, 51% of Americans now claim to be “pro-life”. The score for “pro-choicers”: 42%. That’s the first time since the folks at Gallup began asking this question back in 1995 that pro-life has taken the lead.

Does this mean that the religious among us are turning the tables on policy? Well, that depends on who you ask. LifeNews.com conducted a poll in September of 2009 which pitted conservative Christians and the views of their liberal brethren against one another. Their findings: 60% of conservative Christians believe abortion should be illegal without exception while only 26% of liberals believe the option should be available, no holds barred.

But what about other faiths? According to the U.S. Religious Landscape Survey by The Pew Forum in 2007, Muslims were split down the middle. Jews, Hindus, Buddhist, and minority faiths on the other hand leaned heavily toward abortion’s legality, while Protestant Christians held only a slightly higher percentage in the pro-choice camp.

So what does this mean? Nothing really, unless you introduce God’s opinion.

If anything the previous numbers display an ebb and flow in how the disposition of God’s people and the traditional views of God himself are indeed very different.

Let’s look at a few verses of scripture:

Bible/Septuagint: Exodus 20:13- “Thou shall not kill.”

Qur’an: Sura 17:31- “You shall not kill your children due to fear of poverty. We provide for them, as well as for you. Killing them is a gross offense.”

The Dharani Sutra: “There are five kinds of Evil Karma which are difficult to extinguish…the third is abortion.”

The Vedas: “Wipe off, O Pushan [Lord], the sins of him that practiseth abortion."

So the consensus appears to be that no one “upstairs” likes abortion, and truth be told, no one down here really likes it either. Ask any pro-choicer if they enjoy the idea of killing a fetus and the answer is usually no. The argument for them is the freedom of a woman to determine what happens to her body. Interestingly enough, in nearly every religious camp, exceptions are made for abortion by adherents when it comes to the health and safety of the mother.

So where’s the problem? The religious right who, according to the numbers, holds the current majority on this view and are pulling on moderate America. And they argue, packing round after round of scripture, that God Almighty is on their side.

But what about issues like capital punishment, war, the environment, and others right-wingers traditionally support that extinguish life? I digress…

At any rate, these folks make a sound point with regard to God’s will as it should affect abortion policy. In all faiths reviewed, word from on high unanimously agrees that killing kids is bad. But there’s one caveat: free will.

This explains how religious right tendencies shift from policy to policy regardless of the plain language of “Thou shall not kill.” We get to choose. But we can’t just pick on “the right”. I would challenge any left-leaning pro-choicer who supports the Ten Commandments to submit themselves to the same irony in their beliefs.

Ask any Judeo-Christian-Muslim what God’s crowning achievement was in the design of Man and they will more than like reach the consensus of free will. Humanity is unique in nature in its capacity to determine its own fate despite instinct. Suicide, over indulgence in everything from food to sex, masochism, and relentless curiosity—these are idiosyncratic traits of humanity…all because God got bored and decided to liven things up a bit.

Sure, some constants are present. One plus one will always equal two; the speed of light is constant; Wiley Coyote will always end up falling off a cliff. These are aspects of the universe that in a linear infinity will always have the same result.

But on a cosmic level, predictability gets old and apparently, God likes rebels. In every religious tradition we are provided with creeds, precepts, commandments, etc. that are designed to regulate life, but humanity has a knack for breaking the rules. So why is God pro-choice? Because, in the beginning, he gave us a choice: roam the garden or partake of the forbidden fruit. The entire premise of our creation (according to the Middle Eastern traditions) is fellowship with the divine by free will, not forced subservience. Throughout theology humanity is always presented with a decision, and God—because he created us as free agents—is obligated to honor his blueprint lest he become a tyrant.

In the Qur’an, Sura 2:256: “There is no compulsion in religion.”

Bible: Luke 23:34: “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

We killed Jesus. We shot Martin Luther King, Jr. We broke the sound barrier. We surpassed gravity and flew to the moon. We get drunk and call our ex’s. With our choices, we do both great and deplorable things, all by design. We must resist the urge to view the divine as overly anthropomorphic and put words in his mouth or intentions in his mind. In doing this, we fall into the trap of creating idols of one’s own opinions and interpretations.

Consider ourselves as parents. We set perimeters for our children for their protection and development, however that isn’t to stop them from performing a forbidden act. In fact, we expect it. Similarly God, through revelation, sets down guidance in how to live our lives, though he cannot force us to comply, no matter how detestable an act we might commit. In the same way God, as the scriptures above clearly show, holds life as precious, but with the institution of free will he cannot force us to stay our hand.

With this in mind, I must conclude that God is in fact pro-choice. Although he holds the life of his creation dear, the greatest gift he bestowed upon humanity was the freedom to choose. If God then sees fit that we are stewards of our own fate and thus outside of his own sovereignty, does a government have any more right to tell someone what they can and cannot do with their bodies or to use the name of God as a pawn to further political agendas? Certainly, consequences befall all decisions be they positive or negative, however in a universe of innumerable constants which leave entire landscapes cold and lifeless, the right to chart one’s own moral course is an oasis unto static desolation.

Meet the Mormons

2010-11-14T14:41:00.001-05:00

Like most of you, I’ve heard rumors about (dramatic music)…the Mormons. So today I woke up early, put on my Sunday best, and decided to meet them at a local Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints congregation. Different experience from what I’ve seen at other churches of the Christian tradition. I was immediately welcomed and paired up with a young man wearing a nametag called and “elder.” These guys are typically between 19 and 21 years old who travel around the country and live near a local “branch” in order to spread their message to the public.

Cool kid.

He sat with me during the first hour-long service and explained everything to why there were multiple speakers instead of one preach/minister, to the weekly Sacrament of bread and water. Sacrament is like Communion for Catholics or Protestants involving the partaking of bread and water in remembrance of Jesus and his selfless, superhuman exploits.

This service was succeeded by two, hour-long classes. One that was coed, and the last of which was all male (and all female). After that I spoke with both the two young elders and a few of the church leadership, explaining Project Conversion and asking if they would like to participate in July of 2011. I was warned that I’d be disappointed so I must admit, I asked the question with a tinge of anxiety.

They agreed.

I now have the contact information of the cool young man who took the time to usher through the last 4 1/2 hours. Though he more than likely won’t be my Mentor, and the church leadership wants me to learn in July from the elder(s) assigned to their branch in July, he will work to line up the elder at that time as my Mormon Mentor.

During the week, I also picked up a Catholic Mentor, possible Islamic Mentor, and established contact with the president of a state-wide interfaith organization. He is currently sweeping his acquaintances to locate folks to fill in as Mentors for my remaining faiths.

To those of little faith…how’s them apples?

It’s been nerve-racking. Imagine calling these people up out of the blue and asking them to devote their time and attention to my humble efforts…for a month. I’ve received a healthy amount of negativity from people who don’t believe in what I’m doing. There are times when I’m spending hours planning, looking up contacts, asking for help, calling potential Mentors, defending Project Conversion when I even doubt myself. We all have misconceptions about those around us who look, think, and worship differently than ourselves. Sometimes, we put walls around our vision and refuse to see things for ourselves, relying instead on rumors or third party accounts. Today, when I decided to spend some time with the Mormons, I practiced what I’ve preached and I now know that my time next July will be enjoyable. All because I chose to give someone the benefit of the doubt and see something for myself.

That’s what Project Conversion is about. Let’s make curiosity and an open mind sexy again.

Volunteerism, Teamwork, Promotion = Success

2010-11-09T11:43:00.001-05:00

The time between now and December 6 when we reach the Kickstarter funding deadline is a busy one. Like many fellow students, this is a period replete with exams and papers out the yang. I can’t do this alone, so I need your help in many ways to make Project Conversion a success.

On Kickstarter there is a rewards hierarchy in which backers receive a gift according to the amount they donate to a given cause. While this is a very important aspect (no money equals limited results), it fails to recognize the efforts of folks who might volunteer as a Mentor or promote Project Conversion. So I have an idea.

Scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours.

Toward the end of this year, I will create a page on the Project Conversion site recognizing the efforts of three groups: Mentors, Benefactors, and Ambassadors. Each group will bear the name of folks who fit within these category as well as a link to a website of their choice. For Mentors all I will need is to establish contact with you via email and phone and discuss what’s involved in this important role. Ambassadors are those who actively spread the word about Project Conversion. Perhaps you’ve shared this project on your blog or website or have interviewed me for a publication. Or maybe you’ve posted a link to Project Conversion on a social networking site like Twitter or Facebook. If your link-share results in a confirmed case of someone 1) “liking” the Facebook page or 2) donating to Project Conversion on Kickstarter, then you’ve earned a spot on the wall along with your link.

It’s about working together. With this we can help each other out and spread the word for one another like all promiscuous good ideas should be.

Ready. Steady. Go!

Project Conversion: Detractors, Critics, and Why We Need Them

2010-11-07T11:40:00.001-05:00

I recently created a thread on the religious exploration website, Belief.net in a “Changing Your Religion” forum to let folks know about Project Conversion. Seemed appropriate given the subject matter. Project Conversion was immediately met with criticism by two posters. You can see the discussion for yourself here, but I’ll provide an annotated version of their concerns below.

Issue 1) 30 days isn’t enough time to explore any faith.

I agree, which is why I explicitly state on the website and the video that each month will serve as an introduction to the faith both from the point of view of my Mentor and that of a new convert. This is a valid concern, however I believe that recognizing that this is only an introduction to get people talking about deeper questions/topics rather than brooding in ignorance is a good thing.

Issue 2) This is some sort of gimmick/publicity stunt.

Again, I understand completely where my critic is coming from. Sure, Project Conversion brings attention to myself, but this is unavoidable due to my role as “convert in effigy” and host of the documentary. This sort of attention however is inherent with any initiative that seeks to bring about change or revolution. On the other hand, consider this analogy: I have two young daughters that, as most kids do, tend to argue and fight. One way to combat the problem as a parent is to confront and punish them through various means. Sometimes this works, and sometimes it makes things worse. One technique is to do something that shocks the children (or the parties in conflict) out of the fight. So occasionally when my children are in the middle of a huge fight, I’ll do something outrageous to disrupt the conflict like say, suddenly jump around and howl like a monkey. The kids are so shocked and intrigued by my unexpected behavior, that they soon join in and are laughing together, having totally forgotten the conflict. They are now sharing in something they have found in common: laughter. No, they haven’t solved the previous conflict, however after a good, distracting laugh, they will be at a better disposition to handle it and might even learn something along the way. Project Conversion is my attempt to have people focus on my exploration of faith (and all the fun, screw-ups, and moments of enlightenment) that come with it. Perhaps this is the jolt folks need to shift the focus from fighting to sharing/talking.

Issue 3) Direct quote: “…So this is just offensive all the way around. Spend a year. Maybe that would teach you something. At this point, you'll learn just enough to be dangerous.”

My critic here preceded this comment by suggesting that, again, using only a month to explore a given faith is so limiting that it “butchers” that faith and therefore I don’t help the problem of ignorance.

Again, I understand the issue here, however I believe the concern is misguided. I’m not sure how I'm butchering anyone. I will adopt the practices of my Mentors and so will offer my audience a taste of each faith. It is akin to a restaurant server offering a plate of samples to his table. In most cases, this sampling entices the guests to explore more options on the menu—even to the point of asking their waiter for their suggestions. In the same way, Project Conversion offers a sampling of different faiths in an interactive and organic way.

Also, if my documentary/experiences instill an attitude of curiosity instead of animosity toward other faiths, or helps nurture a society in which religion is discussed and cherished for its diversity rather than fought over makes me dangerous, then I more than welcome that odd moniker of “dangerous.”

Critics, like editors, are important because they help us bring out the weaknesses in our craft. There are sure to be more detractors with this initiative and I welcome them all. This isn’t just Andrew Bowen’s experience, this is one for all of us. Convert’s Corner is for the stories of others. I’m inviting the world to a round table of collaboration and discussion. I’ve also set up a page on Kickstarter.com to give folks a chance to make a difference and contribute or volunteer as a Mentor to help make Project Conversion all it can be for everyone. These talks should be a celebration of our insight into what makes us Human, our creativity, and willingness to look the dark mysteries of the unknown in the face. But if we continue to fight over our subtle differences in this quest, how will we ever reach our collective zenith as a species?

Please spread the word. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions on how to make this all it can be, please do not hesitate to contact me.

Let’s do this.

Peace,

Andrew Bowen

Interview at PRATE

2010-11-04T13:13:00.001-04:00

The generous and talented Lynn Alexander interviewed me over at PRATE. We talk about writing, Project Conversion, and all about slutty spirituality.

Project Conversion: Website

2010-11-01T10:21:00.001-04:00

Welcome back, Congregation. It’s official! Project Conversion’s home on the Internet is now up and running.

Here is the URL: www.projectconversion.com.

A good amount of work remains in these last two months before the project kicks off on January 1st, 2011, so I’ll need your help as always to make the event the best it can be. The search for Mentors is ongoing, however I’m confident that I’ll have at least half of the faiths covered by the beginning of the year.

Here is a short video, which also appears on the site, introducing Project Conversion to the world:

Enjoy and spread the word!

Updates and Other Coolness

2010-10-26T09:22:00.001-04:00

Hey there Congregation!

It’s been a few days since my last update and that’s mainly because much of the same has transpired. Again, I’m reaching out to folks via email almost everyday in hopes of locating Mentors. Every once in a while I get a tug on the line, as I did yesterday with a reverend from a Unitarian Universalist church, and hopefully that contact will bear some fruit. Other irons that were once hot have begun to cool. I haven’t heard from my Sikh contact for over a week. He was very enthusiastic at first and I can’t image him just falling off the grid so abruptly. Let’s hope everything is okay.

So the roller coaster goes on, and while this work is a source of passion, it’s also exhausting. Which is why my wife convinced me to go on a weekend cruise with her to “recharge” the batteries.

For folks like me, there’s no such thing as a day off. Although the tempo changed greatly and a few Coke and rum’s loosened me up a bit, there were many reminders on that ship for why Project Conversion is so important. A cruise ship is for all intents and purposes a small town. In our town I ran across Muslims, Hindus, and Christians of all flavors living together in harmony. There were no arguments, no sectarian tensions, no stress…just a boat full of people from all over the country and different walks of life enjoying their short time together. And I thought, what a microcosm and a model this should be for the rest of the world. Life is inherently perilous and stressful without the threat of our fellow man and we are on this planet for such a short time. If people can coexist on a boat, why not everywhere else?

One of the goals of Project Conversion is to show that folks of different faiths and philosophies can coexist, and not only is it possible but imperative if we want to realize any hope for survival. What if we just focused on enjoying this life and the company of one another—as one would on a cruise ship? What if we did more than just lived and let live? What if we shared and had fun with the short, precious life we have?

In other news, I found this great cause called The Understanding Campaign which encourages folks to learn just one word of Arabic in an attempt to erode misunderstanding between the Islamic and Western worlds. This is a great initiative that deserves our attention and support.

Now let’s raise a glass to life and have some fun. Karaoke is at 7pm and the comedy show is running all day in the form of political campaigns.

Peace,

Andrew

Alive and Well

2010-10-20T08:08:00.001-04:00

Just wanted to drop a line for those of you keeping up that the Dirty Prophet and Project Conversion are still alive and kicking.

I’ve sent out a few emails and posted threads on religion-specific message boards asking for help. A few nibbles on the line have resulted in some good news on the Judaism and Wiccan fronts, however I’m still waiting on reactions and confirmation from others. A friend helping with the location of a Hindu Mentor hit her first road block when the individual expressed concern that a documentary-style project such as this might cast his faith in a less than flattering light. I can’t blame his reservations, even if that very line of thought is why I so desperately need Mentors to guide me on this journey.

If I don’t know the road, how will I be able to show everyone else what it’s like to travel it?

It’s interesting when you think about it, the organization of it all. I am what you envision me to be, however there is a beautiful irony in the fact that I’ve adopted the moniker of “prophet” (for various reasons), who over many traditions serves as a mentor, guide, and teacher for others. Here though, everything is turned on its head. Jesus had twelve disciples, Muhammad had twelve companions—all of which followed their masters. Conversely, I’m humbly asking for 12 to follow in order to enlighten as I myself am being taught.

Just something to chew on.

Anyway, stay tuned. And as always, if you or anyone you know would be willing to help, send them my way.

Peace,

Andrew

Project Conversion: Elbow Grease

2010-10-14T00:45:00.001-04:00

Hey there Congregation!

I appreciate each and every two of you for hanging with me on the updates. Progress is slow but steady. As I mentioned before, the biggest chore right now is contacting potential Mentors for each faith I’ve chosen to represent during the 2011 months of Project Conversion. This search, especially for the minority faiths, has been like trolling blind in deep water.

Here is a list of faiths it looks like I’ll be riding solo with:

1) Zoroastrianism

2) Jainism

3) Taoism

4) Pastafarianism

Four out of twelve ain’t bad, but we can do better. Like I said, in order for Project Conversion to have the best possible results it needs to represent each faith as, well, faithfully as it can. This requires teachers and mentors to keep it real. I don’t care if my only interaction with these people is through email, this whole thing is about making connections, talking about and experiencing the subject of religion without fighting. Look at what’s happening around us. Things have got to change before we blow ourselves back to the Stone Age.

Project Conversion, with your help, can be part of that change.

Okay, back on task.

The good news is that I’ve struck some pretty rich ground with Islam, Sikhism, Catholicism, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Wicca, and maybe Mormonism. Pay-dirt comes from the fact that my family and I will be moving to our old college town in the Fall of 2011. The college has both Catholic and Islamic student organizations that I’ve recently contacted for help. There is also a Sikh gurudwara (temple, or church) about an hour west, a member of which I have contacted and seems very enthusiastic. Wiccans can be found in the area but as in many cases, these folks practice as “solitaries” and so the best way to reach them is by lurking on chat boards. Locating a Mormon mentor is in the works. Of course, I’ll keep you posted.

Again, if you or anyone you know would be willing to become my mentor—especially with the faiths in red above, please message me. I’m not asking for money, virgin daughters (they still make those?), or for you to change out of your pajamas. All I’m asking for is your compassion and involvement. The impact of such kindness will reach further than you can imagine.

Peace,

Andrew Bowen

Wives, Wisdom, and Awkward Family Photos

2010-10-08T12:09:00.001-04:00

In yet another bedtime chat with my wife a few nights ago (yes, that’s all we do in bed. In fact, our children were conceived by the passionate, atomic fusion of her reason and my imagination) she made a succinct point about Project Conversion that I thought I understood at the time but am only now realizing.

She is what most would consider a liberal Christian. And I…well, I’m spiritually promiscuous—but I always wear protection because neglecting to do so would undoubtedly bring home nasty bugs for my wife. Anyway, this set up means that the household is pretty diverse. Many faiths do not condone marriage outside of one’s religion. But being liberal-minded, my darling found a wonderful loop-hole: how can she be “unevenly yoked”, as St. Paul put it, when I claim allegiance to no faith? Not that she would dump me if I ever did. I mean, I’m a hot commodity.

Privy to my poly-amorous status with religion, she told me that once I began my project and thus “claimed” one every month that I would finally understand what it’s like to live with someone or simply mix with folks of a different faith or philosophy. Well, being the proud open-minded gentleman that I am, I told her that because I claim no religion, that I am predispositioned to think this way already. I could and do have empathy for people of different faiths and their plights with discrimination. This is why I can argue for the building of a mosque near “ground zero”, yet support movements such as “Everyone Draw Muhammad Day” in one breath. I see all faiths with an objective, bird’s eye view. But that wasn’t her point.

“You’ll understand once you start,” she said and as always, rolled over to leave me in the wake of her comments.

While I was talking about empathy, she was talking about sympathy.

*Smacks forehead*

For the first time since I was a fire-and-brimstone Christian in high school, I am going to feel what it’s like to belong. To be different. To have something in common and conflict with others. I will no long be a theological Sweden. This is because during Project Conversion, I will claim allegiance to each faith and adhere to the teachings and traditions to the best of my ability—even so much as to verbally defend the articles of faith.

One good and seemingly innocuous example my wife provided was that of family photos.

“You will be…normal, when you need to be right?” she asked.

“Meaning…”

“What about when you get a nine-figure advance from a publisher. Will you celebrate with a few drinks?”

“Depends on if the faith I’m following allows drinking. Let’s hope it happens during Pastafarianism.”

“And family photos?”

“Oh, well I have to wear a turban when I’m a Sikh.”

“That’s in September right?” she asked while looking at my schedule.

“Yup.”

“So during our daughter’s birthday…”

“Oh…yeah.”

*Wife rolls eyes*

Now I know what she meant. For every month of the year, we will be a house divided. I will have to be sympathetic to each faith despite some discomforts it might cause others (and myself). This will be an important aspect to Project Conversion that I hadn’t considered, the effects of which are already manifesting. More than an experiment of what these faiths are, it will showcase the interactions between religion and humanity, and how each person—like a single unique chromosome, when attached to a religion, can alter the genetics of both and in turn the environment around them. Like the point my wife made about my being a Sikh in September and wearing the turban. Separately, the turban, myself, and a family photo represent nothing out of the ordinary. But because I will be wearing it during a time when I normally wouldn’t, in a household in which such garb and practices are foreign, the chemistry is deeply altered.

It’ll be tough folks, but like they say in the biz, “The show must go on.”

Project Conversion: And the beat goes on

2010-10-06T16:52:00.002-04:00

Here’s a little update for you fine folks to nibble on.

Right now I’m recruiting folks to help out with Project Conversion, specifically mentors for each faith. This is what the tentative roster looks like:

Hinduism: an old high school friend is paving the way for me to learn about the faith via a temple in Cary, North Carolina.

Buddhism: there is a monastery about an hour east of me where novice monks can reside for between one week and four months. I’m going to stay for a week. Yes, this involves me shaving my head and dressing in orange.

Judaism: I’ve got a pal in Charlotte whom I’m pretty sure will help out.

Wicca: there is a vibrant Pagan community thirty minutes north of me that even includes an Army base.

Catholicism: a family friend has agreed to play along here, but because we might not live in this area by December of 2011, I might have to reconsider.

That’s it for now. Many of the least known faiths, such as Taoism, Jainism, and Zoroastrianism, will be tough simply because there isn’t an organized population (that I know of) in my area. Might have to extend my reach…do some traveling. Or, go it solo.

That would be funny.

As I’ve said, mentors will be what makes this project a success. If you or anyone you know represent one of the twelve faiths I’ve listed on this blog and you’d like to help, please contact me.

Peace,

Andrew Bowen

Project Conversion: Months are set!

2010-10-04T13:00:00.001-04:00

By Thor’s balls this was tough!

Okay kids, I finally have 2011 booked with each religion corresponding to each month. The work was painstaking to say the least. In many cases, the faiths run on lunar calendars as opposed to the Gregorian one most of us are accustomed to. Also, as with Zoroastrianism, some faiths have several calendars with holidays on conflicting days and even months!

In the selection process I tried to line up religions with a month that bears one of their more interesting holidays. The list below will provide the month, religion, and the holiday/festival in that order.

January: Hinduism: Makar Sankrat

February: Pastafarian: Pastover

March: Zoroastrianism: Khordad Sal (according to the Fasil Calendar)

April: Judaism: Passover

May: Buddhism: “Vesak” or Buddha Day

June: Taoism: Ghost Festival

July: Mormonism: Pioneer Day

August: Islam: Ramadan

September: Sikhism: Death of Guru Nanak Dev

October: Wicca: Samhaim (New Year)

November: Jainism: Diwali

December: Catholicism: Christmas

So there it is. Project Conversion’s schedule. The next step is for me to contact practitioners receptive to the project and ask them to accept me a student to their faith during the appropriate month. Putting up with me alone should earn them a spot in Paradise.

Stay tuned for more updates.

Peace,

Andrew Bowen

Project Conversion: Standoff

2010-09-30T10:05:00.001-04:00

Looks like I have all the religions I need for Project Conversion. The only problem is that I have one too many! I need your help in deciding which of these two denominations of Christianity to represent:

Mormonism

Amish/Mennonite

What it really comes down to is would you rather see me try to convert people by going door-to-door while sporting a white shirt and black tie via bicycle, or pitching a tent in my yard for a month and living virtually electricity-free.

Decisions, decisions…

Either way, I think you folks will have one hell of a good time.

Project Conversion Update

2010-09-29T07:25:00.003-04:00

Technorati Tags: The Dirty Prophet,Project Conversion,news,religion

Got some news.

While blathering on last night to my wife about Conversion: 12 Months of Spiritual Promiscuity, and stressing about website creation, research, mentor locating, filming, etc…all in two days, she made a very astute observation.

Wife: “Since this is a 12 month project, why don’t you start it January 1st, 2011?”

She rolled over and left me speechless. Well, she usually does, but get your head out the gutter for a second. The common sense was brilliant. I had no idea that Project Conversion would morph and grow into what it is becoming: A beautiful, drooling beast. Over the course of a year, I will compile a ridiculous amount of information and media, all for your enjoyment, and this will need to be neatly cataloged. Mentors must be lined up months in advance. All of the things I’ve already listed must be complete before I even begin.

In other words, to make this the kick-ass experience I envisioned, I need to take a step back. The new date for Project Conversion is January 1st, 2011. Oh don’t be sad. Really, stop moaning…and throwing yourself on the ground isn’t getting you anywhere either. Okay, now I’m sad too, but this doesn’t mean the fun is over. No sir. I will spend the next three months building a website along with a dedicated space for Project Conversion where you can witness and interact with the process every step of the way. I’ll provide weekly updates so that you, Congregation, are at the forefront of this massive undertaking. A solid conversion schedule will be constructed along with a list of willing (poor bastards) mentors to put my ass in gear every day.

If we are going to do this, we’re doing it right, dammit!

So that’s the news. I think it’s a good move that will pay us dividends of awesome ten-fold. Use this time to tell everyone you know about what’s going on. Get them to vote for a religion. Give me feedback on the sort of things you’d like to see in this documentary. Might even throw in a Facebook page and Twitter thingy for everyone to congregate around. Anything goes because we are on this ride together folks.
And if you’re still cranky about the whole idea of waiting, blame my wife.

Peace,

Andrew Bowen

Conversion: 12 Months of Spiritual Promiscuity

2010-09-28T11:40:00.007-04:00

Okay folks, Friday October 1st marks the first day of the Conversion project. As mentioned, October will be Wicca month. I was worried at first, but there seems to be a vibrant community of Wiccan/Pagan folks about 20 miles north of me. This is great because while these people are solo practitioners, they do gather on a weekly basis to share and discuss their faith.

As for other developments…

The plan is to create a video episode at the end of every week, probably on Saturday, to chronicle everything I’ve put myself through during the week. This will also cover any potential interviews. So, there will be three video episodes in all for each faith month, plus a “finale” video at the end to re-cap/conclude the the experience. 3 + 1 = 4. I know you’re itching with excitement.

Initially I planned on recording the whole thing myself, however I’m slowly beginning to realize that some aspects of this adventure may need third party camera operation. Details on that later.

Okay! So here’s the fun part, kids. I’ve selected the following religions to document during this year-long project. In no particular order, they are:

:Amish/Mennonite

:Buddhism

:Hinduism

:Judaism

: Islam     :Catholicism

:Sikhism

:Taoism

:Wicca

Yup, there are only nine here. I need three more. That’s where you come in! I need you folks to send in requests for the last three slots for religions I will follow. The requests with the highest number of votes win. Remember to tell your friends to get involved and bolster your vote.

Peace, and happy voting.

Andrew

The Great Experiment

2010-09-25T13:16:00.001-04:00

Today is September 25, 2010 and the starting date of my Great Experiment. For the next, I dunno, year or so (or until I run out of material) I will spend the first three weeks of every month adhering to the beliefs, practices, and rituals of one religion or belief system. The last five days of each month will serve a two-fold purpose: cool-off/debriefing period, and time to research the faith scheduled for the next month.

I will be giving myself entirely to this project. So, all oddities and ridiculous nuances are game. Every struggle, grip, triumph, revelation, and alcohol-induced slip-up will be chronicled here. Maybe even televised. You’d love to see a video of a drunken Dirty Prophet attempting yoga, would you? Damn straight. I expected no less from my Congregation.

For the month of October: Wicca.

Halloween is this month. Seemed like a no-brainer.

This road will be tons of fun, but difficult. I’ll be throwing myself into unknown philosophical and spiritual realms. I encourage you to follow along and cheer me on. Suggestions are encouraged. I happen to live in a religiously “dry” area where few faiths outside of Christianity are represented, so much of this journey will be done solo via books and eye-scorching hours of Internet research. If you happen to practice the featured faith of that month, any clarification, knowledge, or contributions on the subject would be nice.

A schedule of faiths for subsequent months is forthcoming. Suggestions are welcome.

Peace.

The Disappearing Act of Molly Norris

2010-09-22T10:42:00.001-04:00

I know I’m a little late in responding to this First Amendment disaster, but I’m sure you’ll forgive me.

So it turns out that Molly Norris, the Seattle-based satirical cartoonist who depicted Islam’s prophet, Muhammad, in a less than flattering manner is now in hiding due to a fatwa (death order). You can read one of many articles dealing with the matter here. Damn... Looks like Anwar al-Awlaki, a Yemen-based anti-Western cleric, has quite a bark, enough for the FBI to ask Ms. Norris to wipe her identity clean and “go ghost” in order to avoid attempts on her life.

All because she practiced her freedom of speech and expression. Not in an Islamic country where Shari’a law prevails. No. But here in these United States.

I understand Ms. Norris’ actions and sympathize with what must have been one hell of a decision. Artists take pride in their work, especially when it affects so many people on so many levels. And now, her life has been threatened because of it. Does she tuck tail and run, or stand up for what she believes in? It’s romantic, with our Western arrogance, to thrust our fists above our heads and resist fear or intimidation. But what would you do? I write fiction and essays that routinely exercise satire and harsh metaphor to explore religion. Though at this point I’m only a small fish in a big pond, my work (I hope) is bound to get widespread attention due to my antics. If I received my very own fatwa (I might ask for an official, notarized letter so that I can mount it on the wall), would I stand up in the face of death threats? Maybe, if I were single and didn’t have two little girls to think about.

That’s the trouble with fanatics: they have nothing to lose, and in their twisted minds, Paradise to gain through their actions.

The notion that anyone is beyond or above satire or caricature, including prophets or God himself, is blasphemy against the Constitution and the concept of free will. I fully support Molly Norris and artists like her. The moderates and level-headed folks among us don’t have the luxury of fanatical delusions. My only hope is that when the time comes for artists and writers like myself to face our own fork in the road as Molly did, that we won’t back down from religious zealots too insecure in their own faiths to allow free expression to those of us who know all too well what we hold to be true and self evident.

Thanks for helping to pave the road, Molly.

As for you, Anwar al-Awlaki, may your Paradise be filled with beer-chugging lesbians.

To Burn God’s Word:

2010-09-12T12:47:00.001-04:00

I was on vacation last week. Though I was fully aware of the raving lunacy of Rev. Terry Jones’ plan to have a Qur’an roasting in Florida before I set sail for the Bahamas, my limited news access effectively kept me in the dark to the nuances of this issue.

I won’t review them here. Mainly because this fuck-tard doesn’t deserve the attention he’s received and because you more than likely knew about before I did anyway. What I will talk about is the issue of burning a holy book, or, the word of God.

If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, did it make a sound? According to physics, yeah, it crashed and boomed and probably caused a critter or two to scream. But the real question here is perception. The question doesn’t simply ask if the felled tree makes a sound, but only if it does in the absence of a human.

As if sound cannot exist without a witness.

This comes back to humanity’s tendency to hold itself in the highest esteem, you know, because we’re apparently the apex of evolution and junk. There are even philosophical folks who theorize that reality only exists through our perception. So, doctor, if I put the blanket over my head, the monsters will go away? Oh, if only that worked for clergy and politicians.

Fairy tales cease to exist because we cease to believe in them. But in a form of twisted meme-like evolution, Zeus and his crowd never died off from the spiritual consciousness of humanity. They simply evolved into the tradition we call Christianity today. But that’s another rant.

Muslims, Christians, Jews, Tea Party activists…all have sacred creeds and codes written down as a literary edifice of the Creator’s glory and for the promulgation of the religion to the masses. Thus, molestation of these documents and holy symbols becomes an insult and affront of the highest order. So I wondered two things: does God need a book, and when was the first time such an event took place?

I’ll answer the second issue first. As far as I can tell, the first time God’s word burned within the Judeo-Christian-Islamic tradition was on Mount Sinai when Moses had his acid trip—er, encounter with Yahweh. The burning bush! According to tradition, an angel of the Lord (usually interpreted to be Gabriel) delivered God’s message as a burning bush. The bush, enflamed, “spoke” to Moses. God’s word was…yeah, on fire, and an angel threw in the match.

As for the first question, does God need a book for his word to exist. Apparently not. Was is not a word (“Be”) that supposedly launched existence into, well, existence? Where was the desert nomad to jot down the events of the cosmic expansion? It’s a classic chicken and the egg situation. The fact is that by angering oneself about the burning of a holy book to the point of violence reveals your own spiritual and intellectual weakness. Does God need your fury or even your book? The first scripture uttered by men were recorded on their collective memories. These were the bards and orators. Can the languages and symbols of humanity articulate the language and nuances of God? I’d say no, simply because there is one Bible, but countless interpretations. If we are all created in the image of God and all come away from the scriptures with something different, what does that say about our relationship and similarity with the God?

Offense and violence in response to these threats of burning words is a weakness of the ego. Indeed, it’s a sad day when any book is burned. But to equate such a burning to the literal destruction of some god’s actual words is the actual offense on intelligence and common sense. Our holy books are an attempt, not the final draft. They are no more the literal word of God than a spark is the flame from which it was discharged.

God, Novelists, and You

2010-08-22T11:39:00.001-04:00

My wife and I were laying in bed last night; I was reading, she was writing in her journal. I decided to break the silent pre-bedtime ritual.

“I’ve killed people,” I said, “dozens of them.”

Without a flinch, she continues writing. “Don’t say that.”

“But I have!”

“Yes, dear, in your stories. They aren’t real.”

I grumbled. “At least I get away with it.”

So, with my love of theoretical theology and abstract spirituality, I got to thinking. Unfortunately for my wife, I got to thinking out loud.

Here was my thought:

If you’ve ever read a good novel, I’m talking about one that rendered an emotional/psychological response, then the characters and their lives have staying power in your memory. But why, how? As my wife pointed out, they aren’t real.

Really?

The Greek playwrights called the emotional response to a story or performance catharsis, which literally means to throw up. These tales were so real to the audience that they could feel the agony, the joy, the pain the characters dealt with. They empathized. Can we empathize with something that isn’t real? To write a good story which induces an emotional reaction from the audience, the author must recognize a few rules. One cannot simply make a story happy or sad at will, the characters must develop naturally and often rebel against the author’s initial setup in order to rise to fruition.

Wait a minute. The author’s characters can rebel? But he designed them, how…

We’ll get back to that.

In physics there are rules. Certain laws apply to this universe that cannot be broken. Same with chemistry. We cannot simply create a vaccine or antivirus without observing the laws of molecular structure and how they correlate with one another. Even computer coding has rules. Creation is impossible without laws and processes. Art, the literary arts in particular, as the same way. Words are codes. Each letter is an atom, combined into words, they create molecules. From there, sentences, enzymes, paragraphs, tissues, organs, chapters, systems, novels…

Bodies.

In the Abrahamic tradition, God spoke existence into being. The word, “Be.” The first piece of code written in the universe. The “0” and the “1”.

Hang with me…

So God gets all creator-crazy and writes codes for everything I talked about above: chemistry, physics, all these principals and laws that add continuity and form to this great existence. But then, once everything went as planned and without a hiccup, something strange happened. He decided to drift away from the sciences and get involved in the arts.

He decided to write a novel, and it was called Humanity. The difference here is that while the bodies of this creation were confined to the physical laws of the universe, the abstract and imaginative minds of Man would be free. They would be like God. Thus we ourselves were not created in God’s image, but our minds. But this freedom placed serious limits on God’s creative control. Once activated, God could never actually write the novel called Humanity, he could only outline his intentions. We’ll call this God’s will. The reason he cannot write out the novel and set the actions of humanity on paper is because we have free will.

*God with “writer’s block”*

When a novelists creates an outline, he understands the major plot points of his story, but doesn’t actually know his characters that well. That is why, once the novel process is underway, that plots and characters often stray from the outline and explore places and themes unbeknownst to the author at the time. We are characters in this great, cosmic tome, and God, like a good novelist, is allowing us to develop organically.

So, if our minds and souls were written in the image of God’s, and we ourselves create stories out of the same coding—words, as he does, then what does that suggest of the characters in the stories we tell? Are they projections of our creative will? Of course they are. That’s why we cry at the movies, while reading a book, looking at a painting. They are real, and they exist on the same plan of reality that we exist on with God. We are verbal projections of his imagination, acting as organic, free agents of our own will working within a coded program of reality.

We can liken this to the page of a book. The page itself must obey rules of physics. The atoms must be rigid. The ink must dry. The paper must by lithe, etc. But the words and the image they convey of the characters…those are code that, when taken in by our minds, project them as created, living, breathing, thinking, suffering beings.

I looked over at my wife, red-faced and excited at the theoretical insanity I just vomited into her ears.

She kissed me, said, “I love you. Goodnight,” and closed her journal.

Happy Ramadan!

2010-08-11T21:32:00.001-04:00

Today marks the first day of Ramadan for 2010.

How exciting, huh?

An ancient holiday that actually pre-dates contemporary Islam, Ramadan lasts for one month and is marked by daily fasting. Observing Muslims customarily share a large breakfast with their families before dawn and a feast at night at sunset. While fasting, no food, water, or sex is permitted between these times. Muhammed pointed out that this practice helps believers focus on spiritual matters and to empathize with the poor and needy, thus creating a more inclusive, helpful, and spiritually balanced community.

Sounds a lot like Lent, observed by Catholics and some Protestant faiths. Here’s a chance for folks of different faiths (or none at all) to focus not only on similarities between religions, but, for a least a while, become keenly aware of those around us who suffer from poverty. This issue observes no sectarian lines. Poverty, monetarily and physically, is a disease that effects both the religious and secular community. So why not close our eyes to our differences and open our hands to a common enemy?

So here’s my challenge to you, Congregation. Is there anything you could give up for a month? Perhaps you could give an hour a week to volunteer at a homeless shelter. Or what about taking a day and read to children at your local library? Clean a highway? Cook a meal for the elderly? What about a local animal shelter?

When we give of ourselves, it’s more than time or material, we share our common humanity. Love, compassion…these are universal currencies around the world. And if we are all willing to chip in, we can eradicate poverty, hunger, and suffering.

Peace be upon you, peeps.

Morgan Freemans’ “Wormhole” is my kind of Dirty

2010-08-10T09:56:00.001-04:00

Theology is my first love, but Cosmology, Physics, and Psychology all arrive at a close second. So when one of last night episodes of “Through the Wormhole” with Morgan Freeman came on, well, I mentally came.

The episode entitled, “Is There a Creator?” posited the question from three points of view: is God found in the elusive “theory of everything”, a mathematical equation in physics? Is God found in a specific, measureable region of the brain (the right temporal lobe) that evolved to help us cope with anxiety? Or, are we part of some elaborate computer simulation?

Does this mean that every time I move it makes a whoosh sound?

Religion in general enjoys the empty space—the gaps in knowledge—where the pious insist God resides. “God” becomes the solution to the unexplained. Henry Drummond, a 19th century evangelist lecturer, warned his audience about a “God of the gaps” and not to squeeze him into such a pigeon hole. For in doing so, science would only crush the ideal of God, inch by inch, with every new discovery that removes mystery.

But there is a greater miracle here, both secular and religious, in this evolutionary threshold as a species. We are now at the point in our development were we can pierce the veil of the universe and glean the very large and very small. We are getting the big picture. The image of the divine is arriving not only by subjective perception, often fearful of contrary evidence, but by objective scientific inquiry which embraces new ideals to hone and clarify the very face of God.

The Holy Grail of Physics, indeed of all science, is the mathematical “theory of everything.” Such a theory combines the measured equations and particles of the weak and strong forces and electromagnetism (quantum physics), along with gravity (general relativity). So far, these two aren’t compatible because we are missing the particle responsible to measure gravity: the graviton. Similarly, is this what we face in between religion and science? Is the theory of everything the missing particle that will bring these warring camps together and finally give us a portrait of God we can all agree on?

I’m optimistic that science and theology will one day find the answer. But it will only happen when battle lines are erased and the two work toward their common destinations. This isn’t a race about who’s right and who’s wrong. At its core, this is about humanity—our unrelenting curiosity—about what lies just beyond the horizon of our understanding. Our folly is to surrender that search to mystery and apply a divine pronoun to draw a fiery line between the known and unknown. Someone’s got to cross that line. How about we do it together?

The Invitation

2010-08-08T17:22:00.001-04:00

If Heaven is a place

Where certainty supplants mystery

Where edges are defined

By a silver lining

Where the answers to life's questions

Are provided without the agony

The ecstasy

Of the journey to embrace them

Then I must kindly refuse

The invitation

And take instead the step into

The void

In search of a new unknown.

The Science of Movements

2010-07-26T23:15:00.001-04:00

Wow, that sounds a little heady. Anyway…

I’m working on a new novella called Triune. It’s about unity among religions, or at least about three young adults taking a crack at it. I hate to give away the ending but,

They fail.

So what’s the point of giving this away? Well, because it’s true. I thought it would be easy and cool and enjoyable to finally have three of the world’s largest, most influential faiths come together and finally achieve peace. Even if it was only done in fiction, better to live out a pleasant lie—or at least distract yourself with one. It seems though, that faith and religious/spiritual/philosophical movements are under the same laws of physics and thermodynamics as matter and space/time itself.

Take every faith you know of, every system of belief, and trace it to its origin. Go on, I’ll wait.

(an episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender starts and finishes)

Done? Great! What did you find?

Oh…so you came up with two answers: 1) they are either very different from the original, or 2) or don’t exist at all. This is where the science comes in. Creation—all of it, from subatomic particles to the narrative constructs of fiction, to religion itself, all are sabotaged for destruction using the very materials from which they are created. Even in fiction I can’t make these folks reconcile. Their faiths and philosophies are of equal polarity and so repeal one another. Every idea is old the minute it is conceived because Nature is a churning force of adaptation and change.

Your religion, your culture, your way of life, your ideas will be trumped. Just as your birth planted the seeds to your destruction, my inspiration to bring three faiths together has led to a natural course of disintegration. I even outlined the piece so that this wouldn’t happen. Hope, a final solution to sectarian violence and bigotry was the goal here, but the organics of storytelling and character development took the reigns from my hands.

I’m not sure how this one will end, but when it does, I can assure you is that all will not be said and done. There will be room for us to continue fighting for our very souls. Our holy texts with rot and from their slush, new dogmas forged. We build cities atop civilizations long gone. Your god will be the foundation and footstool for the statue of the next one’s feet.

That one will crumble too, and so the cycle continues until we have assured mutual destruction for ourselves in mind, body, and spirit. Our creativity is both a tool and a weapon. My god, what will we build or destroy next?

A Baptism

2010-07-18T22:31:00.001-04:00

My wife was baptized today. Full submersion, holding her nose and everything. She gave her spiritual testimony explaining how, over the course of nearly two years, she came to understand who Jesus Christ is in her life, and today she sealed the deal with the ritual baptismal Jesus prescribes in the New Testament.

There was crying. Everywhere.

I didn’t cry, but I was proud.

“But Dirty Prophet, you aren’t a Christian.”

You’re right, Congregation, I’m not. But I love the Christian faith, its rituals, and symbols. Water is the source of life and a method by which we (and other animals) cleanse ourselves. The Jews (other traditions too, but let’s stay “local”) recognized this and so instituted ritual baths to not only cleanse one’s body, but also one’s soul. The Essenes, a Jewish sect that obsessed over the idea of ritual cleansing, brought the idea to prominence in the Christian faith through the prophet John (a member of the group) who baptized Jesus (reportedly a member as well). From then on, it was the thing to do. The rest is History.

Maybe if more baptisms looked like this there would be more of them?

So this is a shout-out to my wife, who took a bold step into her faith. This was a move taken after introspection and research, not just acceptance of a tradition she was born into. We live in a house where our spiritual orientations are as different as night and day and we have children who will undoubtedly have questions about religion.

How can we accomplish unity with this issue in the midst of such differences? This is a question that applies to communities as small as a household and as large as a nation. But my wife and I are committed to teaching our children to search, ask questions, seek, and knock for their answers before they reach a conclusion. Sure, my wife is biased and I’m not, but the focus is on our commonality, not on what separates us. Our kids will see this compatibility in spite of differences and realize that variety is truly a seasoning of life instead of something to fear and abhor.

I wonder if our community at large can live up to the same level of compromise and acceptance?

Peace.

Daily Double

2010-07-13T08:42:00.000-04:00

Two publications in one day ain't bad!

Like the Dew, an online journal of Southern culture, featured an essay of mine this morning called Last Call for Martyrs Ya'll.

And if that wasn't enough martyrdom for you, how about some fiction over at Metazen? My latests yarn, The Martyr, comes to you courtesy of Frank Hinton and crew.

Burn baby burn.

Guest blog at Bent Country

2010-07-09T21:33:00.001-04:00

Mr. Sheldon Lee Compton invited me as a guest writer to his blog, Bent Country. I explain everything. Literally. Check it out here.

That’s Sheldon. Keep your panties on ladies.

New story in Full of Crow!

2010-06-22T22:11:00.001-04:00

Lynn Alexander, mastermind of Full of Crow has published my latest story HERE.

The new DDQ

2010-06-20T19:42:00.001-04:00

Divine Dirt Quarterly, your favorite source for theological art and heresy, has a new look:

Okay, so the logo is the same. But now we’re on Wordpress. That means more DDQ more often! Oh yeah, we now take music and non-fiction as well.

As always, let’s get dirty.

God is brilliant!

2010-06-14T07:32:00.001-04:00

Happy Monday. Enjoy!

SHALLA Magazine reprint!

2010-06-03T14:02:00.001-04:00

This issue of SHALLA Magazine has reprinted my short, “An Unlikely Rapture.” Bartleby-Snopes published the original.

Get yours!

Morning Groove

2010-06-01T07:42:00.001-04:00

Here’s a great way to start the day.

1) Get some Holy Ghost in you.

2) Fill your atmosphere with some spiritual jam beats.

Get down!

Free Speech, a slowly bleeding wound

2010-05-31T19:04:00.001-04:00

Facebook, along with the creators of South Park, has caved.

Here’s the article.

I respect Islam and have a love for the faith along with many others. I also understand that Muslims abstain from creating depictions of the Prophet Muhammad or Allah as this amounts to shirk…but that is a sin for MUSLIMS, not non-Muslims. Non-Muslims are not subject to the jurisdiction of the Qur’an; the practice of artistic expression is protected as free speech and are thus protected.

How much further are we to go, how much more censorship are we willing to tolerate until we are devoid of all expression to the point of sterility? We are sewing our own mouths and minds shut.

Of course, I do not support the blatant disregard for civil decorum, one must refrain themselves from purposefully infringing upon the rights of others, but this isn’t—wasn’t it.

This prohibition in Islam is due to fear, fear of potentially casting any artistic depiction of Muhammad or God as an idol. Is it our problem that a Muslim has such an insecurity in their own faith that we must all adhere to this law?

Uh oh, I suppose Blogger will have to apologize to insecure Muslims who fear that this depiction of Muhammad will replace their transient ideal of the prophet.

Memorial Day

2010-05-30T23:29:00.001-04:00

The first Memorial Day was observed as “Decoration Day” on May 30th, 1868 to honor Union soldiers who had died during the U.S. Civil War. Dig a little further back and it was newly emancipated blacks who exhumed Union soldiers buried in a mass grave in South Carolina who honored the war dead by giving them a proper burial.

War dead. I’ll bet most of us don’t really think about the implications here, about dying not for our own cause, but that of another’s. In a soldier’s case, a nation’s.

I come from a long and distinguished family of warriors. Had the Navy not discharged me from Basic Training for marching in my sleep, I’d be a Commissioned Officer in the U.S. Marine Corps today. More than likely serving in Iraq or Afghanistan.

Maybe, war dead.

I don’t agree with the United States’ involvement in Iraq, so when I see somewhere that over 3,000 American warriors have died there under false pretenses, I get pissed off. But think of their families. Think of them. They volunteered for this.

They signed—I signed—a line that basically states that “Not my will be done, but the will of my country and my people, regardless of my opinions or what fate may come.”

We might not all agree on the politics. Hell, some service folks don’t agree with why they are there…but they are because they made a pledge to serve the will of the people. WE elect the people who send them. THEY willingly go.

When was the last time you were willing to die for something? When were you willing to fight for something in spite of yourself—a greater cause than your own mortality?

So today, take a second out of your three-day weekend, your BBQ, your little vacation, and remember the many who have died in Hell holes beyond your imagination. Remember the dead young men and women ripped from this existence before they could have a beer or a piece of ass. All because they believed in something bigger.

Semper Fidelis, Marine. Carry on.

Ground Zero

2010-05-26T14:06:00.001-04:00

Pretty controversial day in New York City.

Looks like a mosque and cultural center was approved for construction near the location where the towers fell, to the admonition of many.

No doubt, America’s scars run deep from the wound inflicted upon the nation that day. By nature we learn from our injuries and either adapt to prevent future incident or avoid the threat altogether.

But are these people, the moderate, majority, the peaceful among a diseased minority, the threat we have conditioned ourselves to combat and evade?

Let them build, let them pray.

Like Father, like us…

2010-05-21T13:00:00.001-04:00

A letter to God, from Humanity:

Dear God,

The scriptures were right. We are indeed made in your image. Unlike your other Earthly creatures, we observe our environments and the heavens with impunity. We are law-givers and takers; we build kingdoms and tear them down.

And now we have achieved the one thing that you alone held patent to: we have—with our own hands--created Life.

With these advances will come breakthroughs that will allow us to heal disease, deliver the death-blow to cancer, repair the body, re-grow limbs, feed the hungry. We will no longer need your miracles, often divvied out at random, depending on whose prayers are said with most earnest.

You can give us the keys now Dad. We’re ready to hit the road on our own and make a way for ourselves. It’s okay; you can trust us…

Dad, it’s been fun, but we think it’s time you grab your fishing pole and head to your cabin by the sea. Your retirement has arrived. We promise to call, or maybe even drop by for a chat. But it’s a big world out there and like ol’ Frost said, we’ve got miles to go before we sleep…miles to go before we sleep

Love,

Mankind

Everyone Draw Muhammad Day

2010-05-20T13:01:00.001-04:00

The first annual “Everyone Draw Muhammad Day” is here.

Some history:

When the creators of South Park elected not to caricature Islam’s prophet in one of their shows due to a warning from Revolution Islam.com, Seattle Cartoonist Molly Norris created Muhammad-based art in defense of free speech. The images went viral. She has since dropped out of the movement which has spawned several “sister” movements such as this one started by Mimi Sulpovar.

What’s interesting about this movement and its associated debate is that while depicting images of God (or Allah in this case) are forbidden on grounds of idolatry, the Qur’an does not forbid images of Prophet Muhammad. What Muslims are using as grounds for disagreement are found only in hadith (selected “sayings” or “actions” of the prophet).

What’s your take?

Oops!

Stepping Stones

2010-05-17T11:28:00.000-04:00

Not only the first Arab-American, but first Muslim won the Miss USA pagent.

Damn, it's no wonder those misogynistic pricks keep those girls in burqas. This woman is a knock-out! Anyway, congratulations, miss Rima. I hope the negativity and backlash from the more fundamental and conservative bloc of your faith is a mere gnat to swat away on the road to success.

A Change in Ritual

2010-04-25T08:27:00.001-04:00

For the last few weeks I’ve accompanied my wife and family to a local Baptist church pursuant her curiosity. She is now comfortable, having found solace in these teachings.

As for me, Christianity in the general sense is an old stomping ground. I am happy to have helped her get there. Now that she’s found a spiritual home, I feel it’s time for me to pitch my tent elsewhere.

I am half Lumbee, a Native American tribe of dubious origins whose history varies from being the descendents of the Lost Colony to an amalgam of “free people of color” and white servant women of the 18th century. The most accepted heritage is that we are what is left of the Cheraw people who abandoned their homeland to escape White encroachment and settled in the swamps of modern day Robeson County, NC.

This confusion bothered me at one time. There is something tactile and warm in knowing one’s heritage. Indeed, this is a symptom of the group dynamic but is that so bad? It’s no wonder I’m a self-classified “spiritual nomad” then.

My relationship and disposition toward my Tribe has always been hot/cold. It is a bloodline I’ve loved to hate. These people, with their hawkbill knives ready to cut a man without hesitation, their dialect—found only in this part of the country—a mixture between eastern Middle English and a Southern twang, the corruption in the tribal government…I’ve always been reticent to take hold of this heritage.

But then, there is the swamp…the Lumber (or Lumbee) River.

I grew up playing in these backwater bogs, swamps, and waterways. I’ve fished and explored many rivers, but none are quite like the Lumber. Yesterday I decided to visit for the first time in…years. I’ve been in several states—several countries, and I’ve lived in Robeson for much of my life never feeling as if I were “home”, until my feet sank into the mossy carpet along the banks of this river.

The black water, calm above, a swirling vortex beneath; the hum of mosquitoes, snake trails through moss and fern patches of ground, mud pits and root system gazebos built by trees felled by hurricanes. It was here, as I walked along the bank trying to find a place where I could no long hear vehicles, that my temple has waited all along. I realized that the blood in my veins is not red, but black. The turbulence of my soul is not to be condemned, for I only inherited it from my Mother, the river.

I have embraced the silent vortex; the yin and yang, the stench of the swamp’s rot—nothing more than the scent of Nature’s perspiration as life struggles to survive within her bosom. There are no priests here, only the chirp of birds and the trickle of water. And if you get too sentimental, too existential as you “ponder the mystery” instead of join in it, you might lose your footing, sink into the bog, and become a fossil fuel for the next generation.

I have found home. Where is yours?

National Day of Prayer…poof!

2010-04-15T19:12:00.001-04:00

Nah, it’ll probably get appealed, but The Federal District Court recently ruled the so-called National Day of Prayer to be unconstitutional.

Read the article here.

Personally, I think this is a decision that serves both the secular government the founding fathers had in mind, and the religious institutions of these United States. Think about it: once a government issues a day of prayer, the natural outcome is the representation of whatever prayer our elected officials subscribe to. Our constitution forbids government to endorse any faith. The matter is therefore left to the sovereignty of the individual, where rule of law keeps worship safe and without the taint of legislation or national identity.

Thoughts?

Is God Pro-choice?

2010-04-14T21:12:00.001-04:00

My first piece of non-fiction is up at On the Wing, courtesy of the wonderful Michael J. Solender.

Enough jabber. Check it here. The Dirty Prophet says so.

Fire Power!

The Dirty Prophet’s first Podcast!

2010-04-11T13:22:00.001-04:00

Courtesy of Cynthia Reeser of Prick of the Spindle, I was asked a few questions regarding religion and literature and the muddy lines between them.

Thanks, old friend.

Enjoy: Podcast

White people rapping. Results may vary.

2010-04-09T13:39:00.001-04:00

Interesting. Kind of addictive in the way Pringles might be. Or sniffing Sharpies…

Silverman for President

2010-03-29T07:28:00.001-04:00

In the great tradition of works like Jonathan Swift’s “A Modest Proposal”…

The Goodness Flows…

2010-03-22T09:14:00.001-04:00

Divine Dirt Quarterly 2.1 just launched!

In other news, Prick of the Spindle popped up like a Spring flower as well:

Enjoy.

Ronald McDonald is happier with crack.

2010-03-05T20:57:00.001-05:00

Proof, my friends, that stirring the pot of myth and cultural symbols is a healthy practice.

RAD OMEN - "Rad Anthem" from Nicholaus Goossen on Vimeo.

Sex and Murder.

2010-03-01T20:59:00.001-05:00

My latest from Sex and Murder Magazine: FACES

Awww, what a cute couple!

Novella acceptance.

2010-02-20T11:08:00.001-05:00

My novella, Tits and Tats, was just picked up by Sven Davisson at Rebel Satori Press!!

This project would never have seen the light of day had it not been for my mentor and good friend, Stefin Bradbury. Though we live on opposite ends of the country and have never met, it doesn’t mean our characters couldn’t. Thus, In the novella, one character from respective novels meet and work together for fulfill the protagonist’s dream of becoming a tattoo artist.

Details forthcoming.

New story up at MiCrow

2010-02-16T12:33:00.000-05:00

Latest work from MiCrow called Drowning. Enjoy.

Nanoism story is up!

2010-02-13T12:01:00.000-05:00

Boom-Pow!

Thanks to Ben White who played hard to get.

Jealous....

2010-02-13T10:44:00.001-05:00

...That I didn't think of THIS!

When religious fear and the entrepreneurial spirit hook up, well, it's like a drunk white guy trying to dance.

Yeah!

God, is where you find him…

2010-02-07T10:39:00.003-05:00

Per my wife’s interest, we began attending a church one of her friend goes to last Sunday. I stepped through the door and realized it had been close to 10 years (aside from our wedding ceremony) since I had stepped inside a church.

Maybe some background.

I was a zealot in high school. My message was Hell and brimstone, my conviction: I am in fact holier than thou. I even played guitar and sang back-up vocals in a Christian rock band. If you didn’t think like me or worship my Jesus, you were doomed to Hell.
I was also secretly fucking my girlfriend at the time. She soon became pregnant (isn’t karma a bitch?) and the rest is history.

Sick of being a hypocrite and with a newfound love of beer and superlatives once in college, I dropped religion like it was hot and, until last year, never looked back.

Now I’m more of a spiritual nomad. I love everything theology, leading a life of constant inquiry. This has its ups and downs but in all, I think I’ve found solace in traveling “light”.

But now my wife, for personal reasons, wants to attend church. Didn’t know if I’d be cool with it, but I realized that I had to surrender my own reservations because it was important to her and my job as husband and friend is to support her. So we went. She is now much happier and even willing to talk about religion with me, a “no man’s land” for us beforehand.

Today we were getting ready for our second Sunday when she was called in to work. She’s an LPN on a labor and delivery unit. That means no church for us today. Irony though, has a funny way of showing up. Because this journey within Christianity is important to her, I was sorry that we had to miss a service. But then I remembered a verse from the Gnostic gospel of Thomas. Paraphrasing of course, Jesus is made to say, “Look under a stone and you shall find me.” For me that is to say, “I am where you look for me.” So, as an LPN in a unit that introduces new life into the world, I can think of no better alter, for she is now a priestess of creation itself.

Latest at Metazen:

2010-02-06T05:32:00.001-05:00

Frank and crew have allowed me to grace the pages of Metazen.

That Frank, she finds the best damn images.

Brand-spanking-New decomP!

2010-02-03T19:43:00.001-05:00

decomP just got a face lift. Jason was kind enough to have a story of mine included here!

Also check out their Flash, Reviews, and poetry entries.

Here’s a nifty piece featured on decomP by Hannah Stouffer.

PicFic acceptance.

2010-02-01T20:54:00.002-05:00

Here’s a Tweet of mine, courtesy of the Twitter fiction journal, PicFic!
In other news, I just shaved my head.
Peace.

The age of…Aqueous!

2010-01-27T08:49:00.001-05:00

Cynthia Reeser is at it again. Now, she’s opened a new shop of delight HERE.

Looking forward to the awesome.

Wrong Tree Review.

2010-01-20T12:50:00.001-05:00

Sheldon Compton and Jarrid Deaton have launched the first print edition of Wrong Tree Review. Get it here.

That means now.

Here’s to dreams…

2010-01-18T07:06:00.001-05:00

In times of struggle and inspiration, we often focus on what was won or lost rather than the call to action and the bravery itself to answer. Today is a reminder of such calls. Martin Luther King, Jr. asked us to dream of something just was just beyond reach; a fiction that, with an ounce of compassion and a pinch of humanity, might just become reality.We realize that dreams are made of hope, guts, and sweat and the courage to stir them together. Here’s the man:

Preach on, preach on…

Pat Robertson…

2010-01-16T09:24:00.001-05:00

Not really sure how to introduce this but, well damn, here it is:

A deal with the devil? So does that account for any natural disaster that befalls a people? Theology as a tool for judgment…what a shame. Hey Pat, what would Jesus do? Probably bitch-slap you for using his name to spread condemnation and intolerance.

Happy New Year's

2009-12-31T16:19:00.001-05:00

Have a happy, safe, and blessed New Year's.

Prick of the Spindle, 3.4…yes.

2009-12-24T07:56:00.001-05:00

Prick of the Spindle, where I learned everything I know (and continue to learn) about journal-ing, is live with their issue 3.4 installment.

Yes, Cynthia Reeser. You are a juggernaut.

Word gone turd…

2009-12-23T07:11:00.001-05:00

So it looks like Microsoft, which is like the grumpy, genocidal Jehovah of the Old Testament, isn’t allowed to sell Word anymore. Da Article. Apparently, some no-name Canadian set-up owns the rights and spanked Bill Gates and friends with a patent violation lawsuit.

Shit. I use Word…

In other news, Jesus is coming back…from outer space.

Gog and Magog are coming too.

Divine Dirt Quarterly is live!

2009-12-18T14:12:00.001-05:00

Divine Dirt Quarterly is here. Enjoy.

Wrong Tree Review

2009-12-14T10:22:00.003-05:00

My latest short, “Gabriel Walked Into a Bar,” will appear in Wrong Tree Review’s first print edition!

Here’s a pretty badass image of my favorite angel, Gabriel, a character that will continue to appear in my fictional universe.

Mazel Tov!

2009-12-11T09:23:00.000-05:00

Hanukkah begins at sundown tonight. In order to help celebrate, I ran across this Jew awesomeness.

Enjoy, and let the eight crazy nights begin.

A good reason to drink...too bad it's only Thursday

2009-12-10T09:40:00.000-05:00

Just got a request from an agent to review the full manuscript of my novel, The Legend of Tom. I'll be up all day (which is crazy because I work nights) giving my baby one last look-over before I shove it onto the school bus and pray it becomes the bully and not the bullied.

New Fiction!

2009-12-06T04:49:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Nathaniel Tower at Bartleby-Snopes for publishing my latest yarn, An Unlikely Rapture!

Kate Dixon

2009-12-01T07:47:00.000-05:00

Proud. Very proud.

Kate Dixon, good friend and poetry editor at Divine Dirt Quarterly, was just nominated for the Pushcart Prize. Read the entry here!

Cynthia Reeser Chapbook

2009-11-30T16:26:00.000-05:00

Good friend of mine, Cynthia Reeser , has a chapbook of poetry that demands attention. Today is the last day to pre-order, so go Here! and get yours.

Put down your flip-flop a sec pal...

2009-11-28T17:26:00.000-05:00

It's a dog-eat-dog world right? Each squirrel gets his own nut and goes home. But what about compassion? What if every dog would quit growling and opt for some neighborly butt-sniffing and tail-wagging? Compassion is against nature, but it's something all carbon-based lifeforms should at least pretend to embrase.

Karen Armstrong, the author of many theo-based titles including A History of God has started a movement with just that in mind: that the world will pull its head out of its ass and realize that we're in this boat together, that getting along regardless of color, creed, religion or politics is a good idea. Go here and "affirm" the Charter for Compassion like I did and add one more brick to the wall against intolerance and ignorance.

Thanksgiving in Reflection

2009-11-26T11:11:00.002-05:00

Here are some scripture verses from various traditions to help us remember this day of thanks:

"The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me;
to one who orders his way rightly
I will show the salvation of God!”—Psalm 50:23

"The unworthy man is ungrateful, forgetful of benefits [done to him]. This
ingratitude, this forgetfulness is congenial to mean people... But the
worthy person is grateful and mindful of benefits done to him. This
gratitude, this mindfulness, is congenial to the best people." Anguttara Nikaya i.61, Buddhist text

"It is God who has made for you the earth as a resting place, and the sky
as a canopy, and has given you shape--and made your shapes beautiful--and
has provided for you sustenance of things pure and good; such is God, your
Lord. So glory to God, the Lord of the Worlds!" Qur'an 40.61, 64

"When a man is born, whoever he may be, there is born simultaneously a debt
to the gods, to the sages, to the ancestors, and to men." Satapatha Brahmana, Hindu text.

Have a good one folks!

The Dirty Prophet

Vowels

“Confession”

Short Fiction: “The Siege”

Triune Reviewed!

Triune: Print Version

Next Move

The Plunge

Guest Blog: Sheldon Lee Compton

A Few Announcements

Updates and Spotlights

The Eve of Conversion

Guest Blogger: Yeshua of Nazareth

Project Conversion: 11th Hour

The Rain and the Storm

Project Conversion: The Countdown

Thanksgiving: The Echo of History

Exodus of the American Temples

Is God Pro-Choice?

Meet the Mormons

Volunteerism, Teamwork, Promotion = Success

Project Conversion: Detractors, Critics, and Why We Need Them

Interview at PRATE

Project Conversion: Website

Updates and Other Coolness

Alive and Well

Project Conversion: Elbow Grease

Wives, Wisdom, and Awkward Family Photos

Project Conversion: And the beat goes on

Project Conversion: Months are set!

Project Conversion: Standoff

Project Conversion Update

Conversion: 12 Months of Spiritual Promiscuity

The Great Experiment

The Disappearing Act of Molly Norris

To Burn God’s Word:

God, Novelists, and You

Happy Ramadan!

Morgan Freemans’ “Wormhole” is my kind of Dirty

The Invitation

The Science of Movements

A Baptism

Daily Double

Guest blog at Bent Country

New story in Full of Crow!

The new DDQ

God is brilliant!

SHALLA Magazine reprint!

Morning Groove

Free Speech, a slowly bleeding wound

Memorial Day

Ground Zero

Like Father, like us…

Everyone Draw Muhammad Day

Stepping Stones

A Change in Ritual

National Day of Prayer…*poof!*

Is God Pro-choice?

The Dirty Prophet’s first Podcast!

White people rapping. Results may vary.

Silverman for President

The Goodness Flows…

Ronald McDonald is happier with crack.

Sex and Murder.

Novella acceptance.

New story up at MiCrow

Nanoism story is up!

Jealous....

God, is where you find him…

Latest at Metazen:

Brand-spanking-New decomP!

PicFic acceptance.

The age of…Aqueous!

Wrong Tree Review.

Here’s to dreams…

Pat Robertson…

Happy New Year's

Prick of the Spindle, 3.4…yes.

Word gone turd…

Divine Dirt Quarterly is live!

National Day of Prayer…poof!